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Depression Is Something You Can't Turn Off......

and you have no control over your mood swings and other peoples views. I hate hearing people say things like "get over yourself" or "your just doing/saying that for attention" I personally have not had to endure that here on EP, but have seen it said to others. it is not the person who suffers from depressions fault that people are ignorant when it comes to this issue. There is also no reason to be ignorant when there are so many sites that provide information on depression, all it will take is a few minutes time to know that depression is a disease just like diabetes, cancer, and alcoholism, just to name a few. When you decide to click on a question concerning depression here at EP, remember it was a choice and no one forced you to do so. Be tactful and respectful. There are so many things you should not say to someone who suffers from clinical depression, like the two I have already mentioned. Ask yourself before you choose that particular question if you could live with yourself if something you said caused the person who just wanted help, to do the unthinkable. If the answer is no, tread lightly. If you don't care one way or the other, then you should choose something different where your callousness will be tolerated and accepted. So many people have the preconceived idea that people with depression are just fine "after their medications kick in in the morning" or "they just can't handle the truth" Both of these are things that only ignorant people would believe. First of all, the medications for depression do help some people but not others. The ones they do help sometimes have to go through a grueling trial period of each medicine until they find one that will work for them. Even if they do find one that helps them, there are instances where it doesn't help and another medication has to be added. Some, never find anything that will work for all of their symptoms. There is a lot of information available to help you better understand depression at sites like http://www.Riteaid,com/depression. There is absolutely no excuse to say hurtful, foolish things to a person who battles depression. I have been battling clinical depression for as long as I can remember. I am thankful that the medicine I use for anxiety also helps my depression. Mine started as a young child because of severe abuse and continues to this day. I was affected so badly, that I kept mostly to myself even in school. I hated going there everyday and having other people look at me because I felt that everything about me was being judges. We all know how cruel kids can be, I was just avoiding being put in that situation. There were maybe four people I associated with, and that was so I wouldn't  call attention to myself for associating with no one at all. There are times when I am so depressed I think I would be better off not being here on this planet at all, but I have people I know love me, and I don't want to hurt them. So before you give advice on this delicate disease to anyone who suffers from it, educate yourself. After  all someone could be giving advice to someone you love in some forum, that might cause them to do something unthinkable. You might not even know that your loved one is in pain from clinical depression. Just  think before you speak, or choose a different question.
TwilightDream TwilightDream 36-40, F 38 Responses Oct 22, 2011

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I'm in the same boat myself as an Autism Spectrum Disorder person of 43.

hey now ... I've 'suffered' from depression a decade longer ... its not a 'disease' its a state of mind ... its not a good state of mind.. but its an understandable one ... we the depressives should strive for their 'often misplaced' optimism .. you ask for 'regular' people to give a break to 'depressed' people ... we hate our lives .. lets promote that as a lifestyle choice ...

It is well documented that depression could be a disease.

Wrong! Depression is a disease symptomized by a poor state of mind - a very poor, immobilizing state of mind. It also has physical symptoms. A poor state of mind does not require medication. If you have been depressed for over a decade and you don't think it is a disease, I'll bet you avoid taking medication or seeing a doctor. You sound like you have not fully come to terms with your illness. Be as optimistic as you like. You will still feel like crap!

I completely agree !! I hope that there aren't too many people out there that actually believe it is a "state of mind" instead of recognizing it as the "illness" that it is. I suppose one could refer to depression as a state of mind if it's the temporary "normal" depression that comes with facts of life such as "I didn't get that promotion even though I was better quallified than Joe Public" or " I was really looking forward to that vacation, too bad I can't afford to go now" but when you have the other symptoms that accompany the form of depression the rest of us are coping with, living with being deeply depressed when sometimes you have no idea why you feel so low, that requires medication, so in my opinion, that makes it a disease just like any other illness that requires medication and other forms of treatment !!!

I completely agree !! I hope that there aren't too many people out there that actually believe it is a "state of mind" instead of recognizing it as the "illness" that it is. I suppose one could refer to depression as a state of mind if it's the temporary "normal" depression that comes with facts of life such as "I didn't get that promotion even though I was better quallified than Joe Public" or " I was really looking forward to that vacation, too bad I can't afford to go now" but when you have the other symptoms that accompany the form of depression the rest of us are coping with, living with being deeply depressed when sometimes you have no idea why you feel so low, that requires medication, so in my opinion, that makes it a disease just like any other illness that requires medication and other forms of treatment !!!

I completely agree !! I hope that there aren't too many people out there that actually believe it is a "state of mind" instead of recognizing it as the "illness" that it is. I suppose one could refer to depression as a state of mind if it's the temporary "normal" depression that comes with facts of life such as "I didn't get that promotion even though I was better quallified than Joe Public" or " I was really looking forward to that vacation, too bad I can't afford to go now" but when you have the other symptoms that accompany the form of depression the rest of us are coping with, living with being deeply depressed when sometimes you have no idea why you feel so low, that requires medication, so in my opinion, that makes it a disease just like any other illness that requires medication and other forms of treatment !!!

Treatment huh? I don't see the rainbow like you do .. treatment required. I get it from your other posts on here I see your have good intentions ... think on this .. for the majority of folks who are on psychotropics, its to get us over the current hump. A place where we can deal with our heads. You a sales rep for big Pharma?

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Really, a depressed person confronted with the ignorance of those who have no idea what they are saying need to be confronted with their ignorance. Here's an idea.....Write down the web address of your favorite depression information website. Make at least a dozen copies. Then when somebody tells you to "get over it" or "be positive" or any of those ridiculous things, summon up all the anger and irritability your condition can muster and shout, "GET A CLUE!" and throw the piece of paper at them. Then disappear. Out of the room, the house or at least the situation....and let them think about and maybe do something about their own stupidity.

The most frustrating thing I am finding, is that when I try to talk about what is going on inside of me, the responses are "get over it" "be positive & you'll BE positive" "choose to be happy", or "give it a while you'll be fine, it'll work itself out". I can't stress enough that I have been progressively falling deeper, & I can't just turn it off. No matter how hard I try, it creeps back...I am going to try to get help at this point, because no matter how much I scream for it, no one in my direct path, even sees me. How is it that people who are my friends &/or family that are almost 2000 miles away & the people who see me every day don't?

I am grateful for a page such as this, because I am finally not alone.

Please make sure you get help. Don't let others give you the phrases they think you want/need to hear. They apparently do NOT understand what you are going through and that you are not coping with it very well on your own, and you are right, it will not get better without the treatment that you need, what ever that may be.

You know, I find it a bit funny thinking that just by taking one look at you, they suddenly think they all about you and your secrets. I just hate people that are like that, thinking they know everything, but that makes them even more foolish than they were. The only way to know is if their in your shoes, then they'll understand.

It's like all of a sudden, they think that by looking at you, they are a licensed therapist, because they sure aren't hearing what you are trying to say. I wish that people could walk in other peoples foot steps for just three days, that would change their view, except most of those overly bubbly type wouldn't make it through the first day. Because as you said, they have no idea, no understanding.

Did you know that one out of five people think the sun revolves around the earth? So much for our so called "information age." People won't bother getting informed about something as basic as what most of us learned in the 8th grade much less about what depression is.

Ahmen

I also believe that it is rude and harmful for others to say things like that because they don't understand what the sufferer is going through, they have the nerve to think that the depressed person is putting on. My mom went through something like last week in the emergency unit at the hospital. I disliked how she was talked to by the nurse and doctor. Mom did a lot of crying, the doctor seemed like he was losing patience with her by telling us that he has other patients to see. Mom thought maybe she should go into a mental hospital but she was told that going into a place like that would only make her more depressed. Mom has a long list of allergies to medication so that means that she can not take just any type of medication. In the last few years, they had tried to talk her into taking other anti depressant meds, one of them would cause suicide thoughts (like she needs that) and it will cause her to be more depressed. She was told that when the suicide thoughts come, call the doctor immediately (We thought she was nuts). I would worry and lose more sleep myself. I love my mom dearly and would not enjoy seeing her destroy herself because of depression. Mom was even told by a friend's husband that there is nothing wrong with my mom but she has bipolar and need to take her meds. Well...mom do not have bipolar, she only take Xanax and vitamins, she has anxiety like the "supposedly friend". Because of the depression and anxiety our lives had been a living hell. In our home there is three people who lives there, mom, myself and my youngest brother. He is in his thirties, he helps around the house and run errands. We both don't want mom to live alone because she has health problems (it's coming from stress), and the bad depressed thoughts in her head.

I agree that anti medication won't solve the problem and for most people it doesn't help either. I won't let them put me on meds either because I don't think it'll help me but I find having a good therapist and psychiatrist will help more. Especially if the person is able to focus their mind on other things.

There had been times when my mom was happy (I even told her that) until someone made her unhappy again by telling her such things like you can get over it yourself and so forth. Also because of the depression my mom is going through, this is why I am so unhappy when my brother decided to do a family research on my mom's childhood. It's not that she is hiding anything from me or from her other kids but she doesn't want to focus on it because of how her childhood was. One night when she was on the telephone with my brother, I guess he said something to my mom that made her mind go back in time when she was kid. The sad thing is there was a lot of things that contribute to mom's depression. One of them was family issues of today, family issues of yesterday, her health (just to name a few). Today, mom is seeing a counselor sometimes 2 times a week, she is getting back into school. She is actually taking things slow, baby steps but at times it is still hard on her emotionally. Example mom is fine but when she wakes up, she is so sad and depressed. I told her I believe it is the dreams and nightmares she is currently having, they are so negative. I even told her that I believe it was probably something she had talked about earlier in the day and then it surfaces in her dreams. I don't know if I was right or not. Do you are anyone think so? Also we (as in me, my brother, and neighbor) try to keep mom's mind busy because we find that it helps example last month (April) we took my mom out to a few yard sales, mom was fine, she had a good time, and a good nights sleep until the thoughts crept into her mind.

I think that she may have dreams that cause her to become even more depressed and maybe she isn't telling anyone for her own personal reasons. If you have read other things I have posted, then you know my childhood was a living hell, not a child hood at all. I was abused, and I still have nightmares. I don't like to tell my husband or my kids, I prefer to remain silent when they happen. We are all going through so much at the moment, I don't want to add to it. I think you and your brother did good by taking her to yard seeld and doing whatever you can to occupy her mind. I can also tell you that knowing you and your brother are both there and that you care helps her more than you think.

I understand depression because I've suffered with it several times in my own life but what is hard to see a loved one suffering with it. When I see my mother suffering with it each day it bothers me because I know what she is feeling. Some people do not realize a depressed person feels that they are in a box that has no exits. I hate when other people say to a depressed person "you can get out of it yourself" "it's your choice to feel that way, you can get out of it if you want, no one can make that decision but you". Or sometimes I am told that I need to live my own life and stop trying to live my mother's life. Although some of these people mean well, I feel they don't live in our home (I call it being behind closed doors). What these people do not understand when I try talking with them, is that I am describing how depressed my mom is, it bothers me and it hurts myself because it transformed our home (I live with my mom). I'm not giving up on my own life, I have to do what has to be done here at home. I run errands like go grocery shopping, pay bills, tend to the yard-pull weeds, and plant flowers. I try to give myself quality time by listening to music or play my favorite video game (Sims) on the computer, or just lay in a bedroom and relax. It hurts because I'm used to seeing my mom being happy, being active-she served on boards, did volunteer work, appeared in the newspaper-there was a story about how my mom did volunteer work, receiving awards from the governor's wife, and for support of a local business. But since 2010, our lives had changed. Some of the issues that happened that year triggered depression and anxiety, plus it triggered a post traumatic stress for my mom. I had been feeling so angry with my oldest brother because he took it upon himself to do family research on my mom's family. Mom had a bad childhood so it is a trauma for her to talk about her family and her past.

I won't go further into our stressful lives but I believe that a person can become depressed from past and certain issues can cause anxiety attacks (that is what I learned. I'm trying all I can to learn about things so I can help my mom more although it is hard for her to believe me). I'm glad that I came on here and read posts from others, it has helped me a lot! Thank You for your post.

You are welcome. I am just glad to know it helped someone. Thank you for that. :)

I am an anti depressant user of about 8 yrs. I can manage daily life but over the last 5yrs my wife has been depressed. I completely understand that as she was sexually abused from the ages of 6 to 13. I met her when she was 16 ans knew something wasn't right but when I actually found out almost 30 yrs ago I supported her not wanting to prosecute her father. Through a great deal of counselling and therapy she is doing fine with that but for the last 3 yrs she stays in bed and won't get up for days on end but gets out of bed on weekends and is perfectly normal. This is extremely frustrating. Having depression myself I can not turn it on and off like that. Please let me know if this is normal. She has been told by at least 25 medical professionals to get out of bed as that doesn't do anything. She won't get up for anyone. HELP

I understand what your wife is going through. I was sexually abused from the age of 5 until around 11 or 12 by my step father. The only difference is that I found out later my mom knew (or at least expected) and did nothing to help me or to stop him. She continued to stay married to him until she passed away in December 2012. Luckily, like her, I have a very supporting husband. Getting out of bed will likely have to happen when she is ready. It is one of the most painful times in a persons life having to relive the memories and flahbacks of what this monster did to her, the things he put her through will not be something that she will come to terms with until she is ready. Believe me, that is a very traumatic process. I still have trouble coming to terms with what happened to me even after 25 years of being married and there are times that I still cring at the thought of being touched even though it isn't his fault, he has been nothing but kind, patient and understanding. So yeah, In my opinion, her behavior is totally normal. My advice is to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't decide to do something that would break yours and her family heart. Good Luck, I am always here if you need to talk.

i know what depression is its evil i know pills dont help but i know how to defeat it i have over a lot of years learned when you feel its comeing on you have to take your mind and thoughts to another place once you learn this method you can be very normal but the worst part is to make the depression part of you and understand its not you its the world we live in but once you see the escape door it gets esay to live with and then you begain to understand the nature of the beast once you have the tools in your hands you can fix your self pills dont help doctors are idiots they just talk **** and charge a lot of money

Don't be so hard on yourself. You had a rough life. I had a very rough life too. It will take time, but please be patient with yourself. don't give up. God bless. Hug hug

Also for the people who want to wholistic approach please make sure you don't have a medical reason for your depression. Once that's ruled out ck out a health food store, Remember you're never alone, God bless. Hug Hug

I'm on disability. Has anyone here looked into that? i'm able to get my meds and psychotherapy covered. If you can't get disability check out low income counseling or therapy on google. That's an avenue to explore, You could also contact your Dr. for some recommendations on therapists that use a sliding scale, Please don't give up. I don't have a lot of experience in this area, but I care about each of you. God bless, Hug hug

That's great advice, thank you sugarplum, people will find this helpful I have no doubt because many do not know there is help out there even if they can't afford it or if they don't qualify for disability.

People that I thought loved me doesn't have a clue. Thank you for your story. ~Nicole

Thank you for writing this, and helping others understand a little more of what we go through. It's not easy, and sometimes when people think they are helping, they end up hurting us more. One of the biggest reasons I tend to hide in a virtual cave with my pen & pad. People just don't understand that. Kudos.

I just want to know what else is out there besides meds...like supplements that have really worked for people that I haven't tried.

Unfortunately, I have not had the time to research this particular avenue of treatment. I would say there are supplements out there that do help with depression, ask your doctor, I believe they could give you advice on that particular topic.

I used SAM-e (S-Adenosyl Methionine) for a couple of years. SAM-e is a naturally occurring substance found in the body. They make a supplement which is what I took. Before that I took St. John's Wort, also a supplement, but as is warned it made my skin very sun sensitive. As a mood enhancer it helped; the side effect was what made me stop taking it. Both supplements helped to "take the edge off" of my low grade depression. I agree that you should talk to your doc or therapist, but both supplements are OTC.

Honestly, the thing that made the biggest difference for me was energy work. I just left another post to renbrooks521 under her post Don’t You Hate Relapses?? so I won't repeat here. Energy work was the thing that tipped the balance for me. As I mentioned in the post I was so changed by the work that I took the training and learned to do it myself. It’s not a panacea, it won’t work the same for everyone, but it’s an alternative approach that could work in conjunction with whatever your doctor or therapist does for you. I’d say it’s worth a look into. All my best.

Not like i think there is a drug cure but i know it can be totally put under control for me it is amino thing but a serious issue

I can relate to this,for I have Depression also,and people will tell me,YOUR DOING IT TO YOURSELF:( Thats another thing you don't say to someone who has Depression!!

I agree with you whole heartedly. NO ONE does that to them self. Depression is a medical condition and people must learn to accept it for what it is. They must stop blaming the person who has to cope with this illness and if the actually care enough, educate them self so that they understand what will help and what will make that person feel worse.

I agree with you depressive folks are not to be spoken to like it's a mere mood swing

Mood swings are different by varying degrees, for example mood swings are usually caused by an underlying problem that makes someone feel angry, sad, jealous, etc... and these mood swings don't last long, where as depression doesn't go away. i mean some people may feel a bit depressed because of a certain situation, but after it's resolved, the person can go back to living their life normally, where someone who HAS depression can not, because there is often no underlying cause for them to feel depressed. (I could go on, but I am sure you see what I am trying to say).. Sorry, I am in a lot of pain at the moment and doing my best to concentrate. =/

Hi, I found this guys on Youtube, he has a lot of videos that can help ! his name is Momo<br />
look him up, Momo from TheMomoZone, you can even send him a question :)

I think people confuse a depressing "event" - temporary depression - with "clinical" depression, which they do not even begin to understand. People will say "Oh, it will get better." "Just deal with it" I've even had a DOCTOR, say to me, and I swear this to be true "Oh, I know about depression. You wouldn't believe all that has happened to ME in my life." She "rolled her eyes" at me when I tried to explain the unrealistic anxiety/panic attacks I feel and the overwhelming lack of motivation or drive I was experiencing, and said, "Just make yourself do it and get over it" <br />
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Depression doesn't mean going around moping. It is a disease. I'm glad to read your post, and I agree. I came here searching for help for dealing with my illness. I don't mean to find a forum where we all delve into a pity party, but to get real encouragement and find others with whom I can share and learn. I'm tired of living like I do, and while I want to change, I find always that there seems to be stumbling blocks - then I do nothing - want to try butcan't afford the medication I could try - want help but can't afford therapy - know I need to get out but don't feel good enough in clothing to be socialize - fear going out because of the panic I have in crowds - maybe "tomorrow" I'll be able to put that first foot forward .. I'm sure you all know the drill. <br />
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Depression debilitates from the inside out, and it does not discriminate as to race, gender, or IQ. TwilightDream, bless you, and to you and others with courage to post here, I look forward to your posts and hope my own may inspire others, as well. We can do this!

Thank you. I am happy that I could help others by posting the knowledge that I have about depression from my own personal experiences in life. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with depression, it sure makes life much more difficult when we already have so much to worry about because of the recession and the events that are taking place around us each and every day keep escalating. One never knows when they will have to deal with the unthinkable on when already having a rough time trying to cope with such illnesses such as depression and anxiety. I haven't been on much lately because of the weather in this area and the fact that my health is getting worse (that does add to my depression and anxiety as well) and the pain just keeps getting worse. I was very happy to log on here today and see that I can still help others, even if it seems such a small way as posting on this wonderful site. Thank you for making me smile today, not because you suffer from depression, of course, but because this one article seems to be helping others like me and their loved ones to understand that it is not "all in our head" !!! I still intend to keep adding information here when I can, and I wanted to tell you that Walmart has a program for people that can not afford certain meds, such as antidepressants and all you have to do is fill out a form. The drug companies practically give these meds to those who need help because it helps promote their products and they get to write it off on their taxes. The reasons aren't important, but the fact that you CAN receive the medicines you need IS important. I believe that they approve you for 12 months at a time, and then you have to fill out the form again a couple months before your 12 months are up so there is no interruption in your meds reaching you. Just go into Walmart and ask about the program, you will be surprised at how many meds that they offer for free or at a very cheap cost on this program. I promise it is the truth because I know a few others who get their meds that way. They don't offer it on any of the narcotics, but they do for antidepressants, blood pressure, and diabetic meds among others. Please let me know if you are able to check into this, I will feel much better knowing that you are benefitting from this program as well as many others.
You are right that we can get through this, and I understand all too well that you don't like being in a situation where there are crowds. That also makes me very uncomfortable. I hardly leave my own home unless there is NO other option. There is also help to get counseling if you don't have insurance, I will need to look into that. I know that here they do have a program for that as well.

hi there i have add depressions for a lot off years i have no control over my moods you do not no would it is like till you have it your self depressions is a disease i all so have diabetes and have anxiety and depression i am stilll under a doctof i go to the hopital every 2 to 3 mouths to see the doctor i am on anty oresion tablerts mirtazapine they help me to sleep i have been this way for 40 years so i am still sufer from anxiet and depression so i hope one day i will not have it been a baby helps me frew it from baby glencoe2 i have my dummy and bottles and let the world go round

Believe me, I do understand exactly what it's like. I refuse to take any of the newer antidepressants because of the high mortality rate that seems to be resulting from them. It used to take 20 years before they could put a new medication on the market for public use, now they are pumping them out without doing the research that made the older drugs safer, and we the ones who suffer from depression and anxiety, among other illnesses are the ones that are paying for it, some of us with our lives. Just be careful what you take and do your own research.

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I also suffer from clinical depression, and am one of those that have tried almost every medication that has come along. Some have worked for a while, but soon lose their ability to help. Others can help, but the side affects can be worse than the depression. I have pretty much learned that what others say and or think about me is their business, and their problem.

I know that the meds are a long shot for help at best with some people. It is a very long and exhausting process to try several medicines in search for something that will help you, as no one is the same. We each react to and tolerate medications differently. I am really sorry that you haven't had much luck finding something to help you. I have been there and I know the frustration first hand. I wrote his article hoping that people will better understand depression and they will begin to see that it is not the same thing as just having an "off day". I also wanted people to understand that even though they mean well, remarks as mentioned above can be and are hurtful to those of us that can not just "snap out of it". I want to thank you for taking the time to read the post and for adding to it by commenting. I believe that every bit of info here, even the comments, will be helpful to others. You are right, it is their problem, but it is your business if you are the one having to live with this very life altering illness. To that affect, I feel that people should try to say something positive like maybe, "hang in there, I will help any way that I can", that shows support, but in no way implies that they believe you "just need to go out and have some fun", so it is supportive, instead of insensitive. Again, thank you . I hope you do find something that will help. Don't lose hope, new things are being tried all of the time. It may be that they could treat you with an anxiety medicine, you might want to consider talking to your doctor about thatif nothing else id helping,. ( I am not a doctor, but my anxiety medicine does help my depression as well.) Good Luck. =)

Meds are not a long shot at all. They are the most likely way tosave lives as they are designed to relieve symptoms, not cure them. That happens when YOU have enough guts to talk about yourself to a therapist etc. But this can't work until your mood has been raised, usually through meds.

Long shot indeed. Usually it is the ONLY shot .

I have been on anti depressants for a very long time, so do not come here with negative comments. I know exactly how hard it can be to find a med that helps. For some it is a long and stressful process, I was one of those people at one time.

The problem is as simple as this. If you haven't felt it then you don't have an opinion worth expressing. Nor does one have the right to criticise someone who does suffer depression They can't see it so they doubt it. Broken legs, they see and can sympathise although who knows what makes some people tick. They may still attack the broken legs person.<br />
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On the other hand if we let others put us down for being ill they will do it more and more. We should not just sit there and accept this rubbish. Think of things to say back to them so that they know we are not easy targets. Shouting at them in public embarrasses them. Just shout "I'm ill so you think it's OK to put me down do you? You are both a bully and a coward." Or whatever you think suitable. The idea is to draw attention to this person and thus make them at least think about it before they do it to another one of us.<br />
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I've noticed on this site that many refer to having "clinical depression". That is not a type of depression at all. It is simply a case of depression being treated by a clinician. IE it has been professionally diagnosed and treated. Until that happens it is called depression, even though it's exactly the same. It's that professional diagnosis and treatment which adds the "clinical". That's it, nothing deep about it.<br />
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It's still the same as the depression you had the day before diagnosis. Many sites get this wrong and so do many dictionaries simply through repetition and picking up on what many call it. It sounds like a worse illness if it's "clinical" but it is not.

I have posted this as to try to help those that don't understand that we can't just"snap out of it" or to get out and "have some fun" . So far, I have succeeded in helping people understand that this is a very serious, and even at times, a fatal condition. Many people that can't get the right help for what ever reason turn to suicide because it often seems like the only way to stop the pain and the torment. I know, because it happened to me as well. I appreciate every comment put here because it adds information to the thread and people are now seeing that this in fact a very seriou condition/illness, and it is even harder to treat than many can even comprehend. The right meds can seem like a race to find because it often takes several attempts and at times an additional medication for this. Thank you for your input, it is always appreciated on here. I am trying to bring understanding and compassion to as many people as I can reach......

After suffering from depression for most of my life, I have had all the 'nicely meant' things said to me. Especially in the early years of depression the comments are very poisonous, if everyone is telling me that I 'just have to get over it' or 'will snap out of it' or -and that's my personal favourite- 'don't be a jerk, don't make such a drama, act normally', how can they be wrong? Right, psychiatry by majority. But it makes only that we feel worse, not better.<br />
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Later, when I started to understand my illness, I used to think that they got 'being depressed' and 'having a depression' mixed up. Nowadays I get real cynical about the comments. I give information about depression to parents, or other family, with children that have depression. That are very intense sessions, with heavy emotions flying around, but some people never cease to amaze me after the sessions. Sometimes I actually have to cry afterwards about how thick they are.<br />
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You put it very nicely, and even if only one person not suffering from depression gets your message, it was worth the effort.

Thank you. I hope it will help others to understand that clinical depression is a real illness and there are things they should not say to someone that is depressed, it is worth it if it helps just one person. Thank you for sharing what you did, every bit of information helps other get a more clear picture....... =)

ENough with the "clinical". It is bullshit. Get it yet?

Actually it isn't. The word clinical is used to give a normal, shared description of the severity of a Major depression.

It is sad that your personal experience seems to contradict the existence of clinical depression, to the point where you feel the need to get personal and nasty in your comments. I do get your point, and you can get it across, but there is no need for making the same comment over and over again, because something doesn't fit in your believe system.

Thank you because I came very close to blocking someone that seems to have a severe case of "BAA" and I don't like to block unless there is no other option. I appreciate your being out spoken and letting him know that his attitude was likely what he needed to see a doctor for...

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Very, very true words.

Thank you. I posted this in the hope of helping those who don't understand how serious depression is and that it isn't something that one just "snaps out of", and also for those who (like you and I both) that do have it and thinks that no one understands how they feel and what they have to cope with. I am happy to say that I believe it has helped others, which was all I wanted. I know I need to update it and I will as soon as I can. I appreciate your comment, Thank you, I feel like you are a very good friend. =)

Amen. Well stated.

Thank you Paco, I appreciate that you took the time to read and comment. that means a lot.. =)

It was a great presentation and explanation.
Ignorance comes in two forms. Those who hare unfortunate to not have an education to gain knowledge and those who choose to IGNORE it.

I agree with you Paco. It does have two standard forms. You stated that very well and it couldn't be any simpler than that. I have missed you my friend.

I think the worst I heard was "snap out of it" oh ok.... for ya

Comments like that just burn my ***. People speak about issues they have no knowledge of. They should do the research, there is a whole world wide web, and it doesn't take long. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, it's appreciated...

that was told to me, by someone I thought I would trust my life with.It made it worse, im not out of it. atm im just numb, ppl dont get it can come and go in snap. only reply I have anymore is would you ask a person to "snap" out of cancer?

I never ask a person to "snap out" of anything. I just don't get how anyone could. I believe that people need to be educated on all different illnesses, some doctors don't have any idea of what to say to someone about depression, let alone risk treating them. They would rather send someone to a specialist for that, and who could blame them. Depression, and other illnesses, do come and go for people. They are not something you can just wish away, neither is cancer. I am so sorry that someone said that to you. If it was a health care professional (that would not be very professional) I would find someone else. I think it's always best to be cautious with any one who suffers from a chronic condition. It is better to err on the side of caution, than to push someone over the edge who is just balancing there already...

A nicely written post -Thank you for the post

Thank you, I appreciate all comments....

You are very welcome, your post really hit home for all those people that don't understand depression and you just can't
" Get over it " it is something you will deal with the rest of your life

Peoploe who don't understand depression or don't have it don't read here of course. It needs to be said face to face, in real life instead of shrivelling up into a little ball and holding on to those hurtful words. stand up and say somethinbg back. SOmething that exposes them as a bully or coward so they hesitate before saying it to another one of us. Get it yet?

thank you for shearing this as i had it my self and no one could understand. when my ex spilt with me thats when it started. everyone would say pull your self together there is nothing wrong with you. but what they do not no is the night i tryed to kill my self. thats how bad it got. so i understand just how people feel with this thanks

They have meds that can help with clinical depression...This disease usually lasts a lifetime..Everyone has depression when going through a rough time, but this effects people who have reasons to be happy as well, but for some reason they just aren't happy and have no idea why.....This is a sad disease to carry around....

i no why it was all the bad things that happened to me when i was younger. and all the things i seen my dad do. look at my story no life as a kid, thank you

One. Clinical depression is just depression treated by a clinician. IE you are getting treatment for it. If not treated it's depression but exactly the same without seeing a doctor.

Two. It is not a disease, it's an illness.

3 No, not everyone goes through depression at all. SOme feel grief, which is normal and recover naturally but not all feel depression at all. bout 1 on 4 or 5 feel it during their entire lifetimes. Current stats. Stop calling it a disease. Get it right. Like the lady says, a few minutes reading stops your ignorance showing.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I get so tired of hearing, "if you'd just think positive thoughts you wouldn't be depressed", "if you'd just stop thinking about feeling badly or stop thinking about the pain, then you'd be healthier and feel better." People who say such things simply don't understand that it's not that easy and they don't understand how insulting and offensive it is, because their careless and ignorant comments imply that you are choosing pain, depression, etc., that if you'd just change your attitude you'd feel so much better... UGH! <br />
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I took a long break from EP because I did encounter way too much of that sort of thing here. I came here because I was looking for emotional support, not rude and thoughtless commentaries on my life, a life those making comments don't really understand or have a full view of.<br />
<br />
Thank you again for a GREAT story! :)

You are very welcome...I agree with you. People don't understand, and some apparently don't care. With all of the information that's available to them right at their finger tips, I find there is no excuse for their rude and offensive comments. If they don't believe this is a disease they need to stay off the **** sites for just an hour or two, if that long, and read up on it.. I find their behavior and attitude unacceptable when technology like the internet makes acquiring knowledge so simple.....Thank you again for contributing by reading and commenting.......Happy New Year....

Nicely put. i have suffered with depression from my teens due to abuse to. it really aggravates me when people say to me "why are you depressed? or a lot of people out there have it harder than you?" of course i know my life could of been so much worse and i am thankful of what i have but that doesn't change the fact that some days (i call them my black days) i just don't want to be around. i feel that my family would be better without me. i know that's not true but that's what depression does to you. it clouds your thoughts and makes you feel like you can not win no matter what you do. i have recently weaned myself of my meds (against my family and dr's wishes), but so far so good. i hate relying on a little white pill to make me feel 'normal'.

I am also thankful that mine is manageabe/ Thanks for commenting, but please reconsider taking your meds, they really help, I have had my share of "dark days" as well.that's the reason we do need the meds. I hope you do change your mind, good luck, and please let me you are okay from time to time......

Thank you I loved your article. I have been doing so much self-help and self improvement and sometimes I just can't change. I often think that the feelings of depression that overwhelm me are out of my control and no matter how many self-improvement tools i've learned i apply, i still can't make the feelings go away. I've had people yell at me before for not being able to change and it hurts so much. I try really hard to change and maybe they were able to change, but people being harsh with me just makes me retreat further.

No one has the right to yell at you over a disease you cannot control. I am sorry that has happened to you, I am trying to get more people educated on the fact that everyone who suffers from depression is a victim of the disease and can't control that. Thank you for your feed back. I will be adding to this article in the future so as to provide more information. Could you rate this article up so others will read it? I want to reach as many people as I can. I hope you feel better, I also don't mind listening, and I am not judgmental nor do I gossip. If you need someone to just listen, I am here.

Thank you for reaching out kimberly. You really have a great message. I know for me i have been in denial so long about it because in my family if you were depressed you were somehow supposed to be able to fix it or take care of yourself, but so much of it really does seem out of my control.

Thanks for taking the time to read it and your input. I truly hope this helps you, and many others. Depression is a disease, people need to understand, you can't will it to get better, so sorry u did not get help when that was what should have happrnrde

I am sorry they expected the impossible from you. It is out of your control as it is a disease like cancer, diabetes, etc... Medication help, but what helped me most was getting rid of the people who made it so much worse with their negativity. Good Luck, I hope you get better, and thank you for reading this.

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"Get over it" is one of those phrases that makes me see red -- and when I'm done being angry, makes me want to cry. It requires an enormous amount of effort to even cope with normal life while depressed, and the implication that you aren't trying hard enough can be pretty sickening. Good post, good thoughts.

Thank you for the compliment. Also thank you for taking thr time ti read this article and adding your feedback. I posted this to help others understand more about depression and to hopefully get people to be more empathetic. I don't wasn't others to be sympathetic, i want them to try to be understanding by putting themselves in our shoes, and learn how their comments hurt others to the point that they could push another human being into the unthinkable.I want to try to educate as many people as I an. All comments are welcome. Again thank you. I also do not like when I see someone tell someone to get over it, please tell others who feel the same that they are welcome to comment hereas well as share their views.

I like 2 think of depression as a thief. What does a thief and depression have in common? They both rob u. A thief robs u of your money and or your material possessions while depression robs u of your happiness and a chance at a normal life. I made that up but it is very true. Getting over it is easier said than done. U can't get over depression or anxiety. Not if it's a condition. While it's true some medications can help although it's not a permanent cure and yes, there r some pple who have 2 go through a string of medications until they find the one that works 4 them. Some even have 2 take a bunch of medications at once just 2 balance the chemicals in their brain. Even when a person finds the right medications, there r times that depression sneaks its way in. Sometimes their medication has 2 be readjusted. It's an on going process. I have depression, anixiety disorder and panic disorder. Not a fun thing 2 have. Pple say stupid things like get over it bec they have never dealt with it and you're right it is like cancer or some kind of terminal illness bec depression can be terminal. Side effect is suicide. Depression can also cause many physical problems as well. I hope this helps u in not feeling alone.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this article, and the time it took for you to post. I, personally, am not feeling alone, but have seen things said to others that literally made me furious. I posted this article to try to help everyone else to understand the implications of depression and the harm they are causing when they say hurtful, malicious things. I appreciate all information posted here as it is my goal for people to have a better understanding of this life long affliction, and to try and get them to be more empathetic to those asking for help on this or any other site. Thank you again, for your contribution.

its a cycle

A very vicious one. Thank you.

i hear ya on this!<br />
its not a cop out at all & for those who just blurt out whatever i think they do need to be educated on this affliction. it not funny its serious. sometimes it can mean the difference between happy & sad & life & death.

Thank you, I am sincerely trying to educate others. I appreciate you taking the time to read it and your feedback means a great deal.

When you were younger, you had no way of really knowing what she meant, I am sure we have all done the same thing when we had no idea what was really going on, for example, I once thought people claimed to be addicted to alcohol so they could use the excuse to drink, I understand so much more now that I have become an adult and seen that there is a problem, so don't beat yourself up...There are just things that we don't understand until we have seen some examples of something....Regards to you as well, and Happy Holidays....

well i thank you for doing so because so many understand yet so many don't as well.
i only ask that people who aren't depressed for understanding for those who are.

Thank you, that is a very reasonable request. I believe if more people though like you, the world would indeed be a much netter place..Happy New Year....

oh thankyou! thats such a nice thing to say. in fact its probably one of the most nicest things that has ever been said to me! i really appreciate it.
happy new year to you as well. i hope this year &amp; the years ahead ahead of you bring you everything you hope for.

I hope the new year and the future brings you the request that people be more understanding, and lots of happiness and fulfillment ...........Thank you........

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