My "dark" FriendI wake up in the morning and before I can open my eyes I know that its there. The covers are heavy with sweat from nightmares I'll never remember. I inhale deeply through my nose, it must have woken it up.
"Good night sleep?" it asks.
"You know it wasn't."
I can hear it try to suppress it's laughter. I rub my eyes forcing them open, I lay there trying to find enough strength hidden deep inside me to drive myself through at least one more day. It feel's like I've been here for an hour, but the clock says its only been five minutes. Just what I need, another long day.
When I have enough strength to finally sit myself upright I'm reminded of the physical toll my body goes through carrying my "friend" around everyday. My neck hurts, my back hurts, my shoulders hurt.
"You know if you didn't complain so much, people might actually like you," says the old familiar voice. The only thing I can think to say is, "Yeah you're probably right." It usually is, I've given up arguing with it a long time ago.
I look around my room seeing small mounds of dirty laundry, I've been to tired or maybe to lazy to do anything about them. "Maybe if you feel even more sorry for yourself the clothes might magically clean themselves!" I hear it trying to suppress more laughter, but it doesn't do quite as good a job of it this time. I find the cleanest clothes I can and put them on taking a quick look in the mirror, I'm not sure why. "Hey now, that's a handsome looking fella." I sigh and roll my eyes, this time it doesn't feel a need to try and stifle its laughter.
My "friend" has a very special gift, he's had it as long as I can remember. He can tell what people are thinking just by looking at them. It's incredible. I'm walking down the street when I notice someone walking at me, I put my fake smile and wish him a good morning. He walks right past me, unacknowledged. "Do you think he wants to spend even a second of his day on you? He can't be bothered with you." I continue down the street when I see coffee shop on the corner and my stomach begins to rumble. I haven't eaten in about a day or so. Not because I don't have any food or money, just no desire or energy. I order a muffin and get some tea, as I'm waiting I see a pretty girl reading the paper with her coffee.
"Go and talk to her, you two have a lot in common," my "friend" whispers in my ear.
"We do?" I ask, "what could we have in common?"
"Lot's," it says, "You both think that your an ugly, worthless, waist of space."
Again my friend makes no attempt to hide its laughter. I don't know why I even leave the house anymore. I just want to curl up into a tight ball and never move again, never be seen again. I go and do things I thought were fun, that might make me happy, but they never do. Fed up and torn down I turn off all the lights and sink into the couch. My eyes water and my throat burns as I try and swallow all of my emotions.
"Spending the night alone? Again?" My "dark" friend asks.
"You know that I am."
"You'll always have me," it says with a smile.
"I know," I say, "I know."
WhyBother22 22-25, M 23 Responses 23 Nov 6, 2011