Understanding Is Too Much To Ask?

I find it really hard to deal with clinical depression along with trying to help others to understand what it is really like. My husband who says he does, cannot fathom the amount of energy it takes for me to get out of bed some mornings, to try and understand why you are crying when there is no reason at all to be upset, to have feelings of wanting to disappear thinking that it would be better for all that are involved, to feel like you are going to "crawl out of your skin" when the PAIN is so bad you don't know how to deal with it, to deal with the guilt attached to the crazy behavior that you feel as if you have no control over sometimes. It would be nice for once to be with someone that understood, that knew that you are a great person despite your illness and to know that there are times they may need to step up to the plate and take a few hits yet see that this too shall pass. It is SOOOO painful to love and live with someone that doesn't understand and continues to say things in a way that make you feel like you REALLY ARE crazy. It hurts.....It just hurts!
Candymm Candymm
36-40, F
5 Responses Dec 15, 2011

I have suffered severe emotional depression in past and have some incling about clinical depression hope you get the help and support you need,here if you want to message and chat!

Some people think that all it takes to feel better is to think happy thoughts or to get into "an activity" that makes you happy. It does hurt because there is so much more to it than that. I have heard it all, when it comes to suggestions. Maybe he should attend an appointment with you so that the doctor could explain the differences between a case of the typical blues, and clinical depression. That might help him to understand.If he doesn't want to go, get some literature for him to read the next time you're there. There is always plenty of information on the internet as well. I am so sorry you have to go through the criticism as that doesn't help, it makes it worse for you I am sure....Good Luck, I hope you feel better, and he gets a clue..You deserve to be understood......

i understand and feel exactly what you say, people who are lucky enough not to live with or have experienced this horrible evil illness will never understand it. your words explain it perfectly yet those who are close to us just seem to dismiss it so easy and that hurts even more. i wish you well in coping with it and hope your partner loves you enough to understand..dizznee

Thank you dizznee, unofrtunately he does not and we are getting a divorce. That is okay maybe after I heal I will find someone that does and if I don't than it just was not meant to be. I have two handsome boys that I can love and cherrish!

So sorry to hear that you are splitting up. Having a successful, meaningful or tolerable realationship is the hardest thing in the world. I wish you and your sons well for the future and hope everything works out well for you.

I am not too sure if you are on pills but yes talking to a psychologist would definitely help you out. Maintain a daily regime do some exercises and most important of all practice power yoga and meditation it will benefit you in many ways.

yes I take pills.....have been on them for quite some time

i had clinical depression several years ago but fortunately with meds, a good psychologist, and a change of jobs things got much brighter. best wishes.