In Trouble -- Going to Attempt to Crawl Out

I'm bipolar (manic depressive).  Every bipolar site I've been on stresses that this disease is treatable if you do all the right things.  Well, I've done them, and it still haunts me.

As of today:

1.  My house is a wreck;

2.  My finances are a wreck;

3.  My relationships are a wreck;

4.  I feel very overwhelmed, to the point of just dying.

The state has sent letters to pay owed state income tax, which I don't have.  The county will not allow me to get license plates or inspection stickers for my vehicle.  Collection agencies are calling me.  Ect.

Today I've been trying to get going for about 5 hours and just don't seem to be able to face the outside world.

I've looked on the computer for the magic pill or solution, and there isn't any.

I have my TO DO LIST written for today.  Hopefully, I'll be able to do it.

Tomorrow is the last day to file income tax.

I don't have anyone to help me.  Actually, I got here by trying to do too much. 

I'm not sure if I'll be able to crawl out from where I am, or if it will just be better to lay down and die.

I don't seem to be able to do anything.

My husband works long hours, is a pack rat, expects me to take care of the bills, but never leaves enough money in the account to do it.  He also expects me to take care of his three dogs and three cats, and aged aunts.  My son is in prison and gave me his power of attorney prior to going in.  I'm expected to look after his affairs too.  I cry and sleep a lot.

I am taking my meds, seeing a Pdoc and a therapist.  I will get "better" for a short period of time and then slide right back down or get further down than what I ever was.

Life is really too much for me.  I'm so overwhelmed, frustrated, and feel so useless I don't know what to do.

Any advice or system would be deeply appreciated.


downup28311 downup28311
Apr 14, 2008