Comes And Goes
Depression is something everyone has felt at one time or another. Some more than others. I have been battling depression since the seventh grade. I didn't get help until my senior year of high school. I don't know how I made it that long by myself. It probably messed me up a lot. I can't tell. I feel like I don't belong with society today but I'm not going to just stay in seclusion or anything like that. I went to phycologists and was told to take some meds. Those didn't help me. I'm sure they help some people but for me it just didn't work. I have a lot to say but I don't ever want it o seem like I'm just whining or complaining or anything. I don't want to be on EP to do that or try and get attention or anything. It's good to be able to share something with some anonymity and maybe have someone with similar thoughts, feelings or experiences be able to read this. It comes and goes. Some days are worse than others, way worse. I only make it today because I now know I am not alone. The first step was definitely the hardest but even though it is a long, hard and taxing battle I know I am not alone. No one is ever truly alone. I do not rely on the people around me to control my depression. I just know they are here for me if I need them. People care. I don't want people to think nobody cares. I care. I don't want anyone to go through what I went through. I am constantly gaining and losing ground in this fight for my sanity and well-being. But I am better than I used to be. That is a start. I don't expect my depression to go away. I am happy that I do not revolve my life around the idea that I need to go self harm or be destructive or to go die anymore. My story is a long one, anyone that is interested I suppose I can tell them. I just want people to know they are not alone...I don't know...I'm in a weird mood today. Sorry if I wasted anyone's time and if you are upset that you just read this or if I offended anybody. I just wanted to put something up before I left for work today.