Depression

I've been depressed for a very long time, but it wasn't til about 2 years ago that I was actually diagnosed. They told me I have severe depression. I don't even know what that means to be honest...I mean what's the difference between severe and major...or bad??? The word they chose to stick infront of the word depression doesn't really seem to make much of a difference does it??? I mean come on you can call it whatever you want but it doesn't change the way if feels. Doesn't do anything to help that.

The first sign of depression that I had was I became very suicidal very quickly. Then I began having mood changes. I'd be down and out all the time...I didn't want to talk on the phone or hang out with friends or anything. Keep in mind I was 13 when this all started. How many 13 year olds do you know that don't want to talk on the phone or be with friends??? Anyways my mom wasn't much help but that's a-whole-nother story. So for a long time I did my best to fight it on my own...thinking I couldn't get help cause that means I'm crazy. Not only that but I always figure it made me weak...to admit that I couldn't handle my emotions and what I was going through...I couldn't do that. I didn't decide that I absolutely had to do something until I started hearing voices. They were so bad that I couldn't sleep, or focus, I couldn't watch a tv show or read a book because of all the noise in my head. I didn't want to die...even though it seemed like an answer...so I decided it was time to do something...anything about the way I felt. I started going to couseling and taking anti-depressants. I'm doing better now....for the most part I guess. I don't hear voices anymore so that's a plus and most days I have energy and want to be socialble for the most part.

pepsi21addict pepsi21addict
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 12, 2007

Keep up the good work and listen for the GOOD voices! They are there ;-)