Depression Kills.


I've been sooo much depressed. If I remember it correctly, it started about a year and a half ago. It was after my girl friend and I broke up and went to another country because of work (this was right before I lost my first job).

It seems like all the bad things that will  happen in my lifetime came at the same time. So, I was really sad.
I spend the day, moping around the house, thinking of her and the what could have beens - what if I treated her right?, what if I did not took her forgranted?

I was out of work for 6 or 7 months, and we barely have communication anymore. It seems like there is no source of joy for me anymore. I felt so hopeless and I can't do anything to battle depression.

I tried keeping my faith strong, and I tried to keep myself strong. But depression really eats everything in you.

I really lost her, but I got a new job. Now, I try to let my job consume my time. I have no time now for dates, because in reality, I still love her. But at least, I have something to kill my time.

Somewhere in time, I know I will be able to move on and be happy.
kaaru kaaru
22-25, M
Mar 12, 2007