Feelin' The Way I Feel?

Have you ever felt rejected by the tiniest things? Whether it's someone you love forgetting to say 'hello' to you when they walk into the room, or turning away from you for a moment to talk to someone else, do you feel rejected by the smallest things? Do you magnify said rejection in your mind and feel as if the person doesn't like you or doesn't want to be around you?

I must say I do. Subsequently what happens after the supposed "rejection" is that I withdraw. Withdraw from my boyfriend, withdraw from my friends. It's ridiculous and irritating to me that I feel this way. You would think that the natural reaction would be to reach out more, to be friendlier, but not in my case. Maybe I'm trying to make the person who made the 'rejection' come back to me, to affirm that they weren't really rejecting me in any way and that they really do enjoy being around me. Never do I voice this desire, however. I don't want to appear needy or clingy; I'm neither, but the feeling that someone I love might not love me as much as I them makes me feel like a fool, even though these tiny actions probably don't really have any actual bearing on whether or not the person loves me. It's just overthinking... again. Overthinking about everything, and every little problem becomes magnified tenfold. 

It's not just the rejections. I overthink everything, analyze to the last detail, from my appearance to my personality to my words to my actions to my walk to my facial expression. It's all important. Pent-up frustration and hurt piles on top of hurt piles on top of frustration, with no outlet. No outlet but the one that is least advised but the most effective.

I could be so much happier... 
SurvivalofthePrettiest SurvivalofthePrettiest
18-21, F
Feb 24, 2012