I Know I Don't Have It That Bad...

I know that! But, is it selfish of me to want to have someone who can just understand me? Why is it that everything becomes a battle of who has it worse, and "keep things in perspective" when I talk to my dad. i know that he has had it hard, its just i need someone to understand ME and to sympathize with ME. I'm tired of my feelings always being diminished. i have no one else to talk to, and then when he says that i feel guilty for saying anything and hate myself more... i've realized i share too much of myself and people around me now pity me. i didn't want it to be like that. i just wanted to find a kindred spirit, i get so excited if i find something with someone in common with me. i try so hard, and still i find myself completely alone. i really don't want to be alone anymore...
TheBestMeICanBe TheBestMeICanBe
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 26, 2012

People who have never had Depression thinks that you can use logic to make it go away. <br />
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That is like saying "well, I know you are having a heart attack but other people have had it worse, so suck it up". Illnesses do not work that way

Your father is wrong, whatever his motive and intent is. The saying goes, "I felt bad because I had no shoes, and then I saw a man who had no feet," but that doesn't mean that you don't need shoes. If the fact that someone always has it worse was a reason to do nothing to overcome adversity, no one would ever do anything to improve their situation. Do whatever you must to find happiness, and don't accept anyone's imposed excuse not to. You might check out the works of John Bradshaw, and his "Bradshaw on: The Family" might be a good place to start. I give Mr. Bradshaw a part credit for saving my life. I wish you every happiness, sweetheart.

My therapist told me "The cardinal sin of parenting is making your kid take care of you." So your dad's expecting you to put his emotional issues ahead of yours, and that's not cool.<br />
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When you reproduce, you have to suck it up and be the parent, not try to out-hurt your kid.<br />
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Look though. <br />
No parent is perfect.<br />
All parents mess something up.<br />
Why if I get to be a therapist, I'll never lack for business.<br />
He does not realize he's hurting you, I don't think. <br />
This is being done out of utter cluelessness, not nastiness.<br />
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But, yeah, talk to others. Reach out. Don't bottle it up.

God, it's like you've taken the words right out of my head O__O<br />
I hope everything works out for you! <3

Nobody can really understand how depression makes you feel unless he/she has been through this, that's what I believe. They are like you describe: ''Keep things in perspective! People, are dying all around the world! Kids starve to death! They have cancer! They are abused! Others have no job, no money, no place to live, no family! They have ACTUAL problems, REAL problems! And you can't handle being a little sad and you complain about it??? How can you be so SELFISH!! You should be grateful you are alive and you have food to eat every day!!!'' Well I say this is CRAP!!! I just wanna tell those people: ''Don't you think if I could keep things in perspective I wouldn't??! Do you think I don't know about all the bad things that are happening in the world, about all the people who have it worse than me?? Do you think I'm not sad for those people? Do you think I'm NOT grateful for what I have?? Do you think I don't feel GUILTY AS HELL when I dare tell someone I'm not feeling good like I SHOULD be feeling??? Do you think I DON'T want to be happy??? Well I'm sorry for not being as strong as you! I'm sorry for having feelings! I'm sorry for no being PERFECT!'' That's why I don't talk to people about depression anymore. I already feel enough guilt for not being 'as strong as I should'. I don't need constant reminders of this from others too...

Exactly how I feel! maybe i should also learn to keep things to myself. when i feel bad i always run to my parents, but as they're a part of the problem, i end up feeling even worse. its just that if i don't express my feelings then they bubble up and I'm afraid of what i might do... well thats what ep's for i guess... ill start a journal too!

by the way, you ARE very strong, even if you think you aren't. maybe its corny, but i feel very inspired by you. don't ever feel guilty for your feelings. i think they are precious and sacred, and no one should tell you how you should feel.

Thank you for your kind words! Keeping your feelings inside is always bad, I know! But expressing them to the wrong people can make things worse, I think. I really hope ep will help us both! :)

Trying to explaine to those outside the world of depression of what is going on inside us is really next to impossible. Unless they take the time to educate themselve's there is no way they can grasp it. What is inside me is just as real as cancer persay but because the cant SEE it they just tend to write it off as everyday stress. I know I dont have it that bad, that is how it start's and if left unchecked will only grow worse. Search out support group's in your area and this can be done from home via the internet. Call your local hospital and ask to speak to their social worker and ask if they have a support group that you might be able to attend. Many time's you find the best support from people outside your circle that have either dealt with or are dealing with the same thing's your are. It cant hurt to just look into any option's available. My Best.

you're right. i need to get off my *** and find a therapist, and stick with them this time. i can't keep relying on my parents, they're sick of me and they don't understand. maybe if i'm able to at least just lean on a therapist a couple times a week, ill be ok.