Sadness

Today I feel very depressed because other's seem to think that I should like the same thing they do. They seem to like lesbians, but I do not at all, I find them disturbing. But the other whom I spoke to just said well... you should learn to like them, even so you are straight. And also said because everyone should be bisexual nowadays, no one should be straight anymore.

So I got very depressed over it, and I do admit I am very emotional.

Vipy Vipy
26-30, F
7 Responses Mar 14, 2007

Hi Vipy,I'm sorry to hear that you felt pressured to like the same things that others do. That must make you feel lonely and confused. Personally, I don't like or dislike someone because of who they are (gays, lesbians, etc), but I don't agree with it. I think that I am entitled my own belief whether I think it's ok or not, and I think you too are entitled to your beliefs. If you think that it's "disturbing" to you, then you are entitled to not like seeing two women kiss.I don't, however, believe in looking down on/hating/disliking/outcasting someone because they are in a different mentality than you... not that I'm saying you were doing that, but I also need to add it. :)

Cause dad was watching a show like that, two girls kissed each other on the lips, and that was sick to me, and I walked out. Of course my dad likes seeing things like that, he's a guy and all. But they can do what they want, as long as I'm not there... and if I am bothering you then sorry about that...

Obviously I don't know your friends, maybe they have an agenda, maybe you misunderstood. No, you don't have to be bisexual in this world. But you do have to accept that some people are. Here's some straight advice from an older non-emotional person with no agenda.<br />
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Telling you that you SHOULD like anything is silly. Just silly, never mind right or wrong. What you like is what you like, it's called a personal preference. So, anyone who thinks they can advise you on your tastes isn't someone you should take any notice of. Time for new friends, perhaps?<br />
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But let's deal with this idea you have of liking lesbians being "wrong". You don't like women sexually. Of course you don't. You're not a lesbian. But listen carefully now. You are upset at being told you SHOULD like them. And that feels bad, it has upset you greatly. <br />
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Now, you think those lesbians are "wrong", you are thinking, maybe, that THEY should like guys, like you do. Are you? If you are, can you not see that you are trying to force a personal taste on them, in exactly the same way that your friends are trying to do it to you? Think about that for a bit. <br />
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Here's what I think you should do, and feel free to ignore my advice because once again, there's that SHOULD word, which is always a sign of unsolicited advice. I think you should do two things.<br />
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1) Ignore people who try to get you to change your persnal tastes. It's absurd. Tell them so. Tell them they have personal tastes, and you have yours.<br />
2) At the same time respect the personal tastes of others, then perhaps you'll understand why calling them "wrong" is being hypocritical.<br />
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I think you will learn this at some point the hard way if you don't try to understand it now. Everything works both ways.

Well, yeah... but I just think that liking lesbians or a female in that way is wrong to me. I only like guys... and it seems that people are trying to tell me that you must be bi in this world now to be excepted... I like being straight and liking guys... but maybe there is something wrong with me, and yeah my emotions do get in the way at times. I mean, I can be angry at one moment, then sad the next, and I haven't been happy in awhile now.

Yes, I can see that, but can you understand that you are doing the same thing? You are upset because you think people don't accept you just as you are, right? By being prejudiced towards lesbians, you are....not accepting someone just as they are. Is it possible, therefore, that you are kmisunderstanding what is being said, due to your emotions?

sometimes when I get depressed, I seem to just cry on the inside or feel hurt from the inside... if you know what I mean. I would want other's to act as they are, not saying they need to change or anything, just saying that every person is different, though other's want me to like something they like in order for them to accept me... it just hurts my feelings is all.

That's an odd one, and I think perhaps you've misunderstood. What people are probably asking you to be is tolerant. Tolerant of something you don't understand. You don't have to join in! <br />
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Consider it this way. Would you like people to be tolerant of you? You'd be very unusual if you didn't. Most of us want to be accepted as is. Just as we are. <br />
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Or is this a side issue. Are you just having problems with your depression affecting your own self-confidence? Your ability to make your own decisions about things?<br />
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I suspect it's more complex than it looks.