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Why Not Start By Listening?

Call it what you will, but there is this part of you – an innate wisdom, if you will – that has tried and tried and tried to get you to stop and fix a part of you that broke a long time ago but you've told yourself that you either don't have enough money, don't have enough time, don't have enough courage, don't have enough faith, don't have enough conviction, don't have enough belief in yourself, don't have enough love for yourself or any of the thousands of other reasons you've been rattling off to yourself every single day as justification for not stopping and trying to fix that part of you that broke down.

This innate wisdom inside of you – your other “YOU” – is tired of looking at its reflection in the mirror and seeing a shell, an empty husk.

“YOU” doesn't want this to be your life anymore but you haven't been listening to him/her so now, you've left “YOU” with no other recourse but to shut you down. So, in this way, what you're feeling now is the effect of this tool “YOU” is using to get you to STOP! and do anything and everything in your power to fix “YOU”.

“YOU” is on strike :)

The point is, listen to “YOU”. “YOU” has shut you down – and will keep you shut down – until you give “YOU” the life it so desperately wants. It's tired of hearing your rationalizations, your excuses - “YOU” wants no more of it!

The only way you'll make peace with “YOU” is by doing exactly what he/she wants :)

The wonderful thing is that, in the process of finally obeying “YOU”, you'll slowly feel MORE energy, MORE passion, MORE intelligence, MORE wisdom, MORE peace and MORE happiness, until one day, “YOU” has decided to turn you back on and has freed you from the aimless life you've been suffering through till now.

Listen to “YOU”. Start now! :)
maxximiliann maxximiliann 36-40, M Mar 13, 2012

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Yes, positive thinking. It always works.<br />
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So if you feel like sh!t, well, you're just wallowing in it. Lazy. Willing to accept it. It's all your fault you aren't trying hard enough. Slap a smile on your face, turn that frown upside down! RIGHT NOW! No we don't want to hear your whining, shut your yap, you're spreading bad energy, in fact I am going to get away from you right now because you're f*cking depressing me, hey everybody ! Let's hear the crybaby cry! Somebody ought to give you something to cry about, I swear! Lots of people have it way worse than you, I mean, some people can't even afford a pair of shoes so BE HAPPY, dammit, BE F*CKING HAPPY! And if you are too weak, worthless and retarded to be happy just shut the h3ll up and stop bothering us with your stupid-*** problems, OK?<br />
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(I am having a slightly angry and very sad moment)

It's ok to vent, I don't mind. It seems, though, that you missed the point of my post. It goes much, much beyond everything you've just shared. You see, it's not about you forcing yourself to feel a certain way but, rather, cooperating with yourself to get to where you want to be. Your "YOU" is in pain and only you can find a way to relieve it. My post was an invitation for you to engage in some introspection to find out what it is you really, truly want out of life so that you can give it to yourself. After all, you're the only one who can :) I hope this helps clear things up for you. If not, feel free to vent some more, hehehe :) I'll keep trying to help you as best I can.

Help? It does not feel like help, it feels like you're showing off your superiority. Seriously.

What makes you say that?

Well...you're telling us the way you overcame depression, right? So...the fact that we are still here and can't...well, that makes us the ones lacking in insight, which is what you are offering as the solution: insight and action. This strongly implies to me you've been mildly depressed at best, because I literally get physiologically and mentally slowed. This is called "psychomotor retardation." It's about the same level of tired that bronchitis produces.

...Along with the same level of mental disorganization as when one is running a fever. If I listen to my inner self when I have hit that point, the dialogue is "You're disgusting, you should kill yourself to save the people around you from your filth" I don't want to do anything, it's training htat tells me I have to force myself out of bed and do what I need to do to both survive and get better.

I have to intellectually rehearse that this is not my sane self, and force myself through grueling misery to get better. I ain't feeling it.

Thank you! I'm beginning to see where I'm miscommunicating with you :) That said, I'd like to ask, in your honest opinion, is forcing yourself to do what you're forcing yourself to do helping you get better or worse?

Would you ask a child-onset diabetic that same question when they shoot up insulin?
Yes, past experience is, I cycle from lightly depressed to severely depressed. The more I give in to what I want to do (lie there) the worse I get, the longer I stay dangerously ill.

Then it looks like you've got everything figured out and what you're doing works for you. In the end, that's all that matters :)

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