I Dont Know What Is Wrong With Me.

First of all, im only 14. And even in my opinion i dont even think someone my age should even know the definition but me? I think i have an idea in general because i think im going through it.... Or maybe im not but i KNOW there is something screwy going on with me. Like im not myself (myself being weird crazy random and no matter wht, happy) but lately ive been like getting areas and momenrs where im just soooo indifferent. I dont care. And these last for a couple hours and then on different days it seems like everyone and everything ****** me off and i can just get pretty mad easily. And if u guys r thinking "oh shes too young and just puberty or pms" then ill tell u to **** off because im 14 and not 10. I know the difference between normal moodiness and this and this is different. And i just dont know whats going on. Help?
Skippytay Skippytay
18-21, F
3 Responses Apr 13, 2012

I think you are going through some changes in your mind. As our body ages by the passing of days, our minds age also. Growing pains happen in our body and mind, it never stops completely. Now, you may indeed be depressed, I know I was at your age and for many years later also. You may need professional help. You may just need to read the book of John in the bible also. Who knows? You may be the only person who can decide what to do next. Depression is a hard road, I know.

When I was diagnosed with depression, there were the obvious signs like self harm, but that was my secret and no one knew. What got me to a doctor was my mom because I was so irritable. Like the smallest thing would set me off. I was at a theme park with my family and there was this cute baby, and I pointed the baby out to my mom and she said, "Yeah, babies are cute, but they're a big responsibility. You need to make sure you're ready for them." I freaked out. I started crying and asking her if she regretted ever having me. The other one was I was making grilled cheese and our only clean pan was a wok, so I was using that and my step dad walked in and said, "That's an interesting pan to make grilled cheese in." I flipped out, and started demanding what he wanted me to do when there were no other clean pans, and asking if he wanted me to start all over again. There were a lot of things like that, and my mom was worried about me, so she took me to a psychologist who diagnosed me. This has been a part of me for a while now, and I believe I was about fifteen or sixteen when I was diagnosed, eighteen now. Your age has nothing to do with things. In fact, being your age could suggest more so that you are experiencing a depressive episode. Being in the middle of puberty means all sorts of hormones can be outta whack. Statistically, eight out of ten women experience a depressive episode at least once in their life. <br />
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Also, I know what you mean by indifferent. For me, I came to the conclusion that nothing really mattered. We were all working hard in school so we can get good jobs and make money, but what for when we're just going to die anyway. But being on medication has really helped me, and I'm a lot better now. It's still something I come up against every day, but I don't harm myself and there are no thoughts about jumping into speeding traffic on my mind. xP<br />
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I would say the best thing to do is see a doctor. A psychologist or a psychiatrist, or even your GP. That way, you can figure out what the problem is, whether it's depression or something else, and work on getting better. If you ever want or need to talk about anything, you can find me, and I'll listen and try my best to help. I've been there too. :) Best of luck.

I have been self harming since dec. and only 3 ppl know, one being my brother, one tht cares, and one that doesnt. My dads a state trooper and deals with alotta suicidal people (many are successful) and i dont wanna worry him

Any time I had suicidal thoughts, what kept me from acting was thinking about my mom and how it would affect her. I knew that if I died, it would kill her and I couldn't bear to do that to her. Think about that person who cares, and think about what harming yourself does to them in worry and fear for you. And still consider seeing a doctor about it. If you don't want to see a doctor, try going to one of those 'all natural' stores and picking up some Sam-E's. They're a natural antidepressant, and maybe try those for a while.

its his job to worry...you are his daughter and you need to come first in his life...his job may be stressfull and whatever but think about what will happen if this feeling you have just gets worse...try talking to a guidance councelor...

good luck with the situation, if u need a friend just add me!