If This Doesn't Stop...then I'll Just Stop Breathing.

As the sun shines through my window

Tears pour down my light brown face

mind filled with painful, miserable memories

that become sharp knives that stabs the heart

i am cold

dead

living in a world that is so dark

my world

no one else sees , hears, knows what im going through

think im insane

call me weird..call me names

enigma forbidden enigma.

I want to run and scream

i want to hide

and posibly die

fear of life

fear of death

no escape from this endless

cycle

i reach out for you

to come and rescue me

but you say i need to help myself

you toss me to the side and say

ive done all i needed to do

your treatment so similar to the treatment

of a diamond

but on the contrary...i not as radiant

not as beautiful

i sit here all alone

wishing you would understand

that i look to you

for comfort

the solution is somewhere within me

why must you continue to hurt me?

why must you make me feel

worse

horrible

i want to cry

i want to die

say i want to end this pointless life

but you want to bring me back

to let me suffer

why taint the word call love

with your heartless and cruel words

of hate

try to understand me

try to embrace me

i long to feel your warm embrace

i long to feel your sweet touch

that can melt all th fears and pain away

i must hide

within my inner walls

knowing they will destroy me

but i can't loose control.

elowen elowen
F
7 Responses Apr 3, 2007

Jesus the lord of us all, he made a great investment in your life, to give you all you long for Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we thought his punishment was from God, but he was wounded for our wrongs, so we can be made right with god today. .

that is why god gave us jesus, all his words to people is uplifting, and he does save from depression and troubles.

that's very eloquent, virtually poetry.
Shame you have to suffer to produce it

i think i am there

i have same issues to the extreme if others only knew and they do i have such a battelfield going in my mind others have caused me or my own doings i suffer every day a eternal mental hell others have caused n left me devistation n desolation moral rejection eternal purgetory 4 ever till i find a truce of the mind to compleatly loose it n never return 4 ever and fade into silent oblivion 4 ever rather than relive the film movie in my mind but reality is no fantisy wounds of the mind are hard to forget wish i could n at last be free from the titanick mental issues i have dreams flashbacks hurt n i dint want sleep n relive it but i have no control of of it all there cant be such a mercyless god yet but give me life of constant tragities and dispare when im all used up maybee ill be freee someday im happy but sad all isk is why n the words echo my exzistance the forc field of my pain within the tearfull black hole the cry of the sole the shattering worldly cry the scream never heard but by the mind

We need to cleanse our minds of negative thoughts..because there nothing called negative...?

this is so relatable<br />
and im sorry that you have those feelings.<br />
do you ever feel like when you shout to that "you" that you do'nt know if it's directed at anyone, you just want someone to become that you?<br />
<br />
maybe there's someone that gets me.

I think the "you" would be anyone. It's not specific because I didn't have anyone like that or knew of anyone who could be like that in my life.

=)