Fighting For My Life....I have been suffering with depression since a young age. What I call the dark whole inside of me. In staed of being afraid of it I decided that I would accept it and do the best I could to live with it.
It has become a fight. A little over a year ago I started to feel like it was slowly getting stronger and stronger and I was getting pulled deeper into the whole, I knew I was in trouble.
Over the past 6 months I have literally been fighting for my life, battling suicidal thoughts daily, feelings of hopelesness and guilt, unable to get out of bed daily, unable to attend classes and when I do barely able to keep my eyes open, and hiding from the world trying to hide from myself. A simlpe thing like getting up to shower to face the day is an internal war.
Before this I was an excellent student, very dilligent and now I'm barely scraping through. I am ashamed to explain to world that I am failing at life. I can barely cope with breathing at times, I can barely complete everyday tasks nevermind having to to attend and study and be social.
I am now in a battle for my life literally and I'm fighting hard. It has taken me over a year to find the strength to find help and I am releaved to say that in about 8 days I will be going to see a specialist.
I finally found the voice to scream out for help from the bottom of that dark whole and in the dark someone heard me.
Please don't give up.
BlackLilly 22-25, F 6 Responses 0 May 1, 2012