Depressed..

I really dont know if this falls under depression or just me over thinking the situation. I havent been with my ex in over 6 months, he broke up with me..and I think Ive been handling it pretty well but there are days when I get the feeling that I just dont want to be here. I want to curl up in a ball and just cry myself to sleep..I feel like I will never get over it...there are days (kinda like today) where I was supposed to go out with my friends and I turned it down to be home to just be alone..there are days when I think about him and get really upset and feel like there is nothing in the world that I can do to make myself happy again. I started to see someone but even from time to time with them Im upset, I get depressed...I dont know what is going on. I dont hate life, I dont hate anything, I just get those moments in my days where I just want to be left alone and cry. I tried to seek out closer but figured hed never give me that so I did it myself by writing a letter about all the good times we had and the ups and downs and after I was done I burned it. I know thats probably not healthy but I figured it needed to be done.
Sydneysweetheart Sydneysweetheart
22-25, F
5 Responses May 4, 2012

egusess how can you sit there and deminish what she is going through? What does is it matter how she recieved the bad news?

Sydney, its called complicated grief, it happens when a loved one has passed on. No matter how bad a break up may have been, there is always that moment, a reminder of how good things used to be. We all experience that feeling.<br />
<br />
A break up is like a death, there is an ending to a realationship as well as an ending to living. Its normal to go through the withdrawl to a point. There is no known actual time a person shou;d greave, I do know that once it takes hold of your way of life, thats when a person needs to address this with a proffesional.<br />
<br />
Have any other questions, write me and I will responde.

You say yourself it's not depression so why the question? Depression has a lot more symptoms and you don't mention them.<br />
<br />
You are grieving, on and off and you don't really understand that. Neither of you are dead are you? So there's a chance you may reconnect, but not if you stay at home and cry about him. Get out and about and you'll push him back in your mind and become yourself again. If you run into hiom, talk to him, don't run awat. You may find he's actually a total arse now.<br />
<br />
Look after you and forget being with him, just let life heppen for a while.

me and my ex will not be getting back together any time soon. He broke up with me over a text message the day after our anniversary and that was the same month of christmas, then my birthday, then valentines day. I was a complete mess for three months. Hardly ate anything but, then again I guess it comes with a break up. Its not that I hate him, Im upset with what happened and for knowing him for so many years I would of thought he would of given me some type of closer.

Broke up over a text message? Are you serious? Take a step down from the hieght of your ego and go talk to him.

I have tried multiple times to talk to him. Even asked to meet up for coffee just to get everything cleared up. I still love him, theres no lying about that. I hate that he turned into a person he said hed never become. But after awhile of trying so hard to get closer to ask him why he did this to me..I just gave up. theres no need to stress myself over trying to find closer or even talking to him. I do wish he would man up and talk to me and just give me something..anything..thats all. He has my number blocked and even told his friends (who are mine as well) not to talk to me anymore. It sucks...I do want to talk to him but he clearly wants nothing to do with me. So why waste my time and worry?

Gotta agree. Cut him off and do te same back. Block him, change numbers etc. He's clearly not a person you really need in your life is he?

no hes not, I did cut him off. and completely out of my life. Its a little hard to lock all those memories of us away when he never treated me bad. I actually had my number changed and had to change my email and facebook. A lot of his exs and friends exs where threatening me and pushed me deep into suicide and to harm myself. Just when you really care about someone as much as I cared about him its hard to let go fully when all you did was care and give it your all.

Dear,

I have suffered a lot more than that and survived without resorting to self harm. I did try suicide twice but stopped both times and decided to live. My wife of 14 years rang me when I had started a new job interstate as agreed to better our cicumstances while she supposedly sold the house and had the kids. After 3 months of leading me on she rang and said it was over. Then she brought the kids over with the appearance of a change of heart but one day I got home from work and they were gone. I lost everything that day. So don't tell me how hard it is. Today, 26 years later, I would likely kill her if I saw her. I don't forget and she is the one person I truly hate. You can ONLY let go and cut them out or you'll go mad.

She used the kids to bargain on settlement and custody. I won't go o but you can't forgive some things. I moved cities for safety. Still see the kids. Not their fault. SO I know what you feel and more, believe me.

I understand that, but what I dont understand is why people who have no idea what happened between us are threatening me?! I did nothing wrong. I was loyal and honest and stayed 120% truthful to him..yet Im the one getting threats..Im in my 20's and the last thing I need is this high school drama. I have thought about moving and getting away from everything but my family is here people I love, I just cant get up and move knowing Im leaving them behind me.

--pretty much, Im ready to beat the crap out of my ex and just say the "fukc" with it and move on and get over it. I havent felt like this in years...and thats a different story...the point is...Im at that point in life where I dont care what happens and am ready to just deal with it.

When you say 120% I doubt your words. Exaggeration always raises doubts. Regardless, just stay away from him and never have contact. It's easierthan you think. Don't expect anyone but yourself to feel what you do. They can't. Just let it go, he's an arsehole. End of story. You aren't but you will be if you keep this going.

Im letting go completely..I sold everything he gave me. I have been going to therapy..and as far as I am concerned he can go rot in hell.

That's what he's doing now. Good moves, end it and you'll be fine.

Thank you for all your advice, very much appreciated

8 More Responses

I can relate i have been there... but you got to keep ur spirits up... chin up dear...

Been there! do not know how old you are, but this happens to men and women and it really does hurt! Also try to remember that this will not be the worst thing that will happen to you in your life. This might sound harsh but think about it. Me and my ex split and I lost my dad 6 weeks later, try to keep your head up and think of positives

I dont find that harsh for what you said to me. I respect that. I am sorry to hear about what has happened to you.