Saving Myself

I do battle depression but I can proudly admit that I have won the battle a few times and other times it hasnt been a fair fight. People dont understand depression so they think its all about the "poor me" and of course the close minded just want to tell you " go kill yourself and get it over with" and because of those people I secretly battle depression. No one knows my bad days, no one knows when I am close to feeling the end, no one knows. I do not do it for attention, I sometimes feel life is just too hard to deal with.
Then I look at my son and decide that he is not better off without me and I would never be forgiven for making a drastic decision. SO I stick it out and try to make myself happy, sometimes I cry and other times I just sleep, mostly I am just angry..angry at myself for feeling this way and angry at life for the way it is going. I make changes and try to better myself but its a slow learning process and takes time.
bannd bannd
36-40, F
1 Response May 6, 2012

thats the way to go man, i fight it everyday and am sick of those people who say just get over it. they have never felt those days where you feel just run down over nothing, nothing explains how i feel those days. i just try to take it one day at a time and try to find a new way to fight it and discover what it is that is bringing those thoughts on. and like you i have neices and nephews that i look to and fight for them so that they can see their uncle at least one more day. Fight on my man, you have a good cause too.