When Does Suicide Make Sense.

I've been dealing w/ depression for a long time now and feel so alone and hopeless. I've somehow managed to make it to my mid-30's, but am at a point where I don't feel as though it's ever going to get better. When I was in my 20's, I thought perhaps I'd get a hold of depression and be able to live somewhat of a normal life. There was something to hope for, but now I'm quickly seeing the years pass by and things I once dreamed of: getting married, having kids, owning a house, etc., all seem out of reach.

How can I possibly find someone to love me if I've yet to learn how to love myself? I absolutely hate who I am and have become. I find myself constantly fantasizing about suicide and having it all be over. But, I know this would absolutely destroy my parents, siblings, and my extended family. At the same time, I find myself all alone and don't want to become a burden to them w/ tear-filled calls of hopelessness and not knowing what to do. I'm a grown man, but I don't feel as though I am capable of taking care of myself right now.

Every day is a struggle. Simply getting out of bed and facing the day seems nearly impossible. Depression sucks because when I'm not depressed I'm a highly capable, loving, intelligent, and compassionate person who has something positive to give this world. I've gotten to the point though where I know it's inevitable that the "invisible hands that strangle from within," (my view of depression) will return and destroy all that I've once again built when feeling "healthy." I can't do it anymore...
frustratedandalone frustratedandalone
31-35, M
1 Response May 7, 2012

Don't give up on yourself. Keep fighting and force yourself to get out and do things. Don't lay in bed, your just letting depression win. Say enough is enough today is the day I get my life back again. <br />
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Do whatever it takes to get help, and don't give up.