Confused And Depressed

Hi, this past year I've been so sad, and I have only just realised that it could actually be depression, which kills me even more. I'm fifteen years old, and every day when I come back in my school, I just lie in my bed and listen to music, watching the sunset. Everyday, for around five hours, then sleep doing nothing. And I don't want to do anything else. I feel like a crappy excuse of a person. I make arguements out of everything, I feel like my family doesn't actually like me, bar my dad. I'm 'happy' when at school, but whenever I get a moment of silence I'm so sad again.

But recently, some days, it's like I'm on a high, and really happy at life, then other days I feel so depressed and de-energized. I haven't got some health problem. The other day, I had a really bad down day, and it came to me that I can end it all and I was contemplating suicide. I want help, but I don't want to sit down and talk about it to someone, it doesn't seem serious enough, and I feel pathetic for even writing this.

Today, I just feel confused and neither happy or sad.
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3 Responses May 13, 2012

This is oh so familiar to me. I feel like this as well, though my worries about people not liking me are directed towards my friends rather than my family, no matter how many times they try to help me I still feel like they just put up with me because I'm there. If you want to talk more about this please don't hesitate to ask me.

Killing yourself you would be feeling weak! Whats going on at home?! Something isnt making you happy!? I am here to talk if you want to talk! Suicide isnt the answer though your 15 and i know eventually you want kids and your own house and ect i am 20 and i went through exactly what your going through my step dad was abusive ***** and my mom didnt give a crap! Just got to pray to God he is listening i promise! Stay positive as soon as you think something negative go back and think something positve get your mind set out of feeling like that, you need to have some more time with friends or going for a walk , get a pet. something! God Bless!!

Your at a hard age I think . But thinking of killing yourself is not a good thing . You are so young and have not gotten to the best part of life yet so hold on . It is never bad to talk to someone ,anyone and most people go through what your going through . I know I did for sure . There will be good days and bad but don't let one day define a life . Good luck