I Hate When People Say I Know What You Are Going Through Part 2

well if you have read part 1 of this story Ull follow through about what is going on here
in my life. yesterday was my first day on this site and it was an accident how I found this site,I enjoyed the way how people wrote about their feelings and what they are going through and I decided to write one myself and a tiny relief happened,mit felt great I had 31 veiws and I was so proud of myself that at least one decided to write back, and was not judgemental...now I want to go deeper into my depression and mental problems.when I was kicked out of home i became addicted to meth 3 months later.even though i had an understanding drugs are bad for u but my understanding was not strong enough...i thought drugs were the type with needles that is injected which then makes u lazy just dreaming of another world and it feels like u are there that's it and that's all and it was called herroin.i became fascinated in what I didn't know by a so called freind pffft that when u take meth u become more alert and quick thinking like u had 10 coffees u become courages, excited to talk about any subject and it won't be boreing,talking to women with confidents improves ur chances to pick up u party to early in the morning you wont look depressed u wont feel depressed and u wont think of the past music will be your best freind and clubs would be another adventure.the consequences I was told it brings u down but alot of rest, water multi vatamin food will make u better in 2 days..in other words he said its like alcohol and u get a hang over it takes 2'days to recover.i thought alright ( in an excited way) I have been drunk before many times had hang overs many times and I had breaks from alcohol upto 6 months no problems and thought if I can't get hooked on alcohol I can't get hooked on meth, as a matter of fact if meth is so bad why havent i heard of support groups like i have with alcohol or herroin and cannabis.as a matter of fact alcohol must be worse because I drink alcohol and I'm not addicted and the government got support group so what will meth do to me and what is the worst is thats gonna happen..and besides i never seen or heard of a crack pipe in my whole life, it was fascinateing but to me i thought why have i not heard of this if it is so bad why have i not heard of a crack pipe why haven't I why haven't I why haven't I thats All i was asking myself.i guess i was more interest in the solution rather than seeking answers of why havent i heard of this type of drug and why havent i heard there is a a smokeing form...so i took it and a few tokes everything was better as promised I thanked him for introducing this to me and said to him if I knew this was around earlier especially in smokeing form i wouldve done it.BANG I was hooked from that very first time without reliseing it...i smoked more and had the best 3 nights of my life to that point.i felt tired and body sore the comedown I was haveing was new to me...I was haveing a comedown but it felt like I was sick I didn't know what it was.but I was ok 2 days later and guess what I wanted to do meth again. 7 years later I am battling meth.comedown on meth is depressing and suicidal thoughts linger all the time its very dark and grey all u want to do is be on your own hide face from the world...being already depressed before hand beforw useing meth only grew my depression and hatred for the world even more.i tried to quit and quit and I cannot.5 weeks into my quiting moment i got a job and lost my job 2 weeks later because I coped anxiety attack at work thinking of meth that I tryed so hard to push out of my thought but that anxitey was herendous it went on for well over an hour..i literally started to shake and almost into a tear im holding in so much...went to the boss made up a story why I had to leave work early and went and bought meth and it was the most satisfying toke and i felt good better releived it was like a cigarette...when u feel like a ciggie and u don't have one around its on your mind and when u finally had that drag of ciggie u feel instantly better.that is what meth does to me.from being questionable about it to whys havent I heard of this drug it must not be so bad, to being in the last 5 yrs highly campaigned by governments and adds that it is the most leathal most addictive the most self destructive and the worst drug to ever be manufactured and the most highly adviced to stay away from and to say no.it has been highly campaigned 2 yrs after I started meth.i am a fallen angel to the meth..i am controlled by Satan aka Meth...he calls for me and calls for me and he don't mind if he gets ignored because he will keep calling me and calling me and calling me and calling me and calling calling me and Satan surely knows how to weaken a person. I longed for rehab but too expensive and no one will upfront the money for me to go.i longed for medication but doctors makes it clear medication has never been the key to get off meth.i been to free support groups about 5 differnet times where everyone share thier story but shareing my story didn't help with claps and congrats of my story i need real help proper help.meth is a disease.im trapped to meth im mentally ill and depressed I have no future and I have nothing but a car.i don't know what to make of myself.i hate everything and everyone.im on my own and that's for sure and my best freind to me but me not to him is SATAN aka meth.i hate him and he loves me, he calls me and i go to him.the only way I see it fits best is to kill myself and have a face to face chat with god and ask him where was my protection from the SATAN u created....and how is it u can sit there and just watch ur children get destroyed.what kind of a test is that.what kind of a test is giveing man power to create drugs like meth.what are u trying to prove what is it....he suerley known people would fall victim.why was there no power to man by god to create a medication to stop meth use if we don't want to do meth anymore....why did he put us in a hazardous situation without a resolution to issues WHY GOD these question will be asked very soon
methhater methhater
26-30, M
1 Response May 18, 2012

you should ask the people in your support group how they stopped, maybe they can give you some advise on how to go to a treatment center. Try to get health ins through the goverment if you don't have any insurance. <br />
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I wish you the best, be strong and determined to beat this.