The Night Brings The Pain

why is it that I get the most down at night? when i am trying to fall asleep those feelings come on like a waterfall. night after night of being alone is the norm i guess. that's how i have felt my whole life, alone. dad was there, but not emotionally, only anger if you broke his rules, if not then he really didnt care; and mom, well lets just say emotionally cold and distant is how i describe her. is that why i suffer from this depression? it seems easy to blame them but my sis and bro have families and seem happy, but why not me? the night comes and darkness is my only companion, it does not judge, ridicule or ignore me. maybe i should imbrace the dark as a friend and not an enemy. it would be nice to have someone there in the night but how odd that would be. my whole life i have felt alone and adding someone would change this? how would they react when i tell them i am suffering from severe depression? that i have thought about how to end it all? i dont want to put that onto someone and drive them away. well, the dark is settling upon me, maybe tonight i dont fight it, maybe i embrace it.
icanthide icanthide
31-35, M
2 Responses May 19, 2012

i think i'm getting addicted to that cold lonely feeling at night. i hate it but somehow i almost crave it now.

Three things can really help you overcome this.<br />
1.Marriage<br />
2.Travelling<br />
3.Use honey in your diet<br />
Start practicing any one of these three things You will feel better.<br />
And let me know if it helps.

1. i'm single
2. no one to travel with
3. honey?