Why does depression hurt so much? I am really tired of the battle, I dont want the pain anymore, but yet I sit in my shell. I am an image of happyness on the outside, but if people only knew what I am really like. I am tired of the mask, I just want to be myself. The pain of depresssioin is what tears at my being. I just want to stay in my shell.
Clearthoughts Clearthoughts
51-55, M
4 Responses May 21, 2012

I so understand where you are coming from. I was on so much medicine for depression that I couldn't feel. I ended up marrying a man who I thought would make it better. He doesn't believe in meds so I had to get off of them cold turkey. It was so hard, but now it's worse. Everyday is hell!

I know someone who is also depressed. I think you need to try and find your joy. What ever makes YOU happy. Nothing else matters.

If you are tired of the mask of projecting yourself as a happy camper, then just throw it all out the window and just try to get back in the picture fr<x>ame as yourself. You want to be yourself so begin already. I'm going through the same thing and I understand that your first step is the hardest but look, the thing is...if you really want to live life outside of your turtle shell, you have to let go and you have to develop a thick skin.<br />
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It's hard to get out there, you just need some people to nudge you...I think that's basically all what people like us need. A dose of reality and people who will volunteer to come up to you and tell you to come into the light...something like an intervention. <br />
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I know I could use until then...try to be positive about the attributes you do possess and refine them a bit and find a group of people who are there and will explain that hiding doesn't get you anywhere.

Depression does cause physical's the bodies way of telling u that there is something wrong..keep trying to talk to your day you will feel better