Depressed Again

I'm feeling depressed again. At an all time low. It's nothing in particular but all of a sudden I start planning on how to hide from the world. I dont feel like doing anything. Lost of interest. Most people in my country (Trinidad and Tobago) are ignorant of what depression really is. They discriminate about anything that they don't understand. They laugh, they mock.

I had a good day today, laughing, talking, then I went jogging on the chancellor with a good friend of mine and laughed some more. But then BAM!!!! This feeling. It's just morbid. Then there's the thoughts....but I fight them coz I've got my son to live for.Then I cry because I'm frustrated coz I hate not being able to control how I feel. I'm BIPOLAR. It's no respecter of persons. I'm not insane, I'm educated and still continuing my studies. For some people it can be genetic, for others it can be brought on by a traumatic experience. For me it's a little bit of both (even though she wouldn't admit the genetic part). It's a real medical problem just like people have diabetes,etc.

Who knows how I might feel tomorrow. Might wake up depressed and feel frustrated or happy then feel ashamed that I wrote this. But the truth is this is how I feel now. This is how I feel alot of times. I'm working on it, I do what my doctors recommend that I do. I also pray.

I Battle Depression!!!
trinichic trinichic
22-25, F
1 Response May 21, 2012

It maybe onset by memories, or subconscious memory, things that remind you of bad times. <br />
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I don't know if I'm bi polar but I have times where I feel so great then I got back down to the deep deep lows of depression, but its never just random a lot is just thinking of the past and it brings me down. <br />
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Don't feel alienated by being depressed, bi polar, even in America people don't take it serious I mean I'm 25 and my parents still think its teen depression or something that can just pass. <br />
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There are so many people in your shoes maybe even alot of the people in your country. This site and other like it will help you connect and realize there are people who care and some who have good tips on how to help your problem.<br />
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Don't be ashamed you let your feelings out, I'm sure it got some stuff off your mind for the time being, and people here will not mock you or pretend your problem is nothing.<br />
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I wish you luck and the things I do to help myself are yoga, bike riding, writing, and meditation(which is much like prayer) but these are not cures, I still have so much I have to do to help myself.