Temper -then- Depression
I have no friends anymore. Nobody to lean on. Nobody to voice my problems to. Nobody to share with. I am always alone. Alone thinking about what a bad person I am. Why do I not have any friends? I wonder this alot. I use to be really outgoing until a boss at my job told me that I made people feel uncomfortable, and there were complaints about me being too nice and people reading things into how I was that were just not there. Now, when I am at work, I do not talk to anyone (unless it pertains to work) and do not associate with anyone. When I walk by someone, I am always holding my head down because I did not know who complained about me. I do not know who I can trust. How can I trust anybody when a year ago my boss came to me telling me people complained about me and would not tell me who? How can I talk to someone at work 1 on 1 when I have in the back of my mind that they may complain about how I am. I make good money at my job, and I do not want to loose it trying to be nice to someone and them turning around lodging a complaint about me.
This has affected my whole social life. I am a completely different person than I once was. I have lost what friends I had. I never socialize with anyone. I am afraid to talk to anybody. I never look people in the eye or smile. I am always depressed, thinking and wondering what I did wrong. I cannot figure it out. I constantly think about it, loose sleep over it, and I do not know what those people who complained about me had against me. If they wanted to ruin my life....they have done a pretty good job of it. I am at my witts end and do not know if I can ever have friends or a social life ever again.