Temper -then- Depression

I have no friends anymore.  Nobody to lean on.  Nobody to voice my problems to.  Nobody to share with.  I am always alone.  Alone thinking about what a bad person I am.  Why do I not have any friends?  I wonder this alot.  I use to be really outgoing until a boss at my job told me that I made people feel uncomfortable, and there were complaints about me being too nice and people reading things into how I was that were just not there.  Now, when I am at work, I do not talk to anyone (unless it pertains to work) and do not associate with anyone.  When I walk by someone, I am always holding my head down because I did not know who complained about me.  I do not know who I can trust.  How can I trust anybody when a year ago my boss came to me telling me people complained about me and would not tell me who?   How can I talk to someone at work 1 on 1 when I have in the back of my mind that they may complain about how I am.  I make good money at my job, and I do not want to loose it trying to be nice to someone and them turning around lodging a complaint about me.

This has affected my whole social life.  I am a completely different person than I once was.  I have lost what friends I had.  I never socialize with anyone.  I am afraid to talk to anybody.  I never look people in the eye or smile.  I am always depressed, thinking and wondering what I did wrong.  I cannot figure it out.  I constantly think about it, loose sleep over it, and I do not know what those people who complained about me had against me.  If they wanted to ruin my life....they have done a pretty good job of it.  I am at my witts end and do not know if I can ever have friends or a social life ever again.


RonNevada RonNevada
1 Response Jun 21, 2008

The person (or people) who complained about you had fear & insecurity about themselves. Just b/c you were nice or good & they took it the wrong way does not mean it's your fault. What they perceive about you externally is basically being judgemental; something which you cannot control anyways. <br />
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If I were in a similar situation I would try to be proactive in finding a remedy. Meaning, perhaps I would approach my boss, request specifically what made the other person uncomfortable (w/out asking for names so as not to embarrass the accuser) & see if I could somehow extend sincerity, apology, or both to that person. Just to show that my intentions were not meant to be harmful to anyone. <br />
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With kindness & goodwill in mind, the effort at least would demonstrate you did your best to put others at ease instead of the opposite. Hope that helps & best of luck to flipping the minds of misguided people.