I Don't Want To Be Here

It seems like I should be over the moon right now.. But all I can think of is "what is the easiest way to die?" I have a 3 wk old newborn and a 4 year old and the love of my life just left me. I have no job and nowhere to live. No money... Nothing :,(
Mandipetty Mandipetty
22-25, F
1 Response Sep 9, 2012

I know how terrible you feel right now. I can imagine. I always worked and was very active until I had my child. It was like time for me stopped and it became all about my child. I have spent all my energy for my child and I lost track of myself. I too am not working now as I have to stay home to care for my child. I have no money and really have lost my own personal passions. My daughter is my world, but I understand that desire to have something of your own to embrace. Right now, as much as it seems disabling, you need to do what ever you can for your children. They need you because they are so young, and so small that they can't do for themselves in this crappy world. Apply for whatever help you can through Human Services. Is WIC available? Do you have insurance for you and the kids through medicaid? Apply for foodstamps? Apply for cash assistance? Apply for Heap (that help with heating bils). Go to your county department of job and family services or human services and fill out applications for everything you can and tell them everything that is going on. Go to your local county community action and tell them all your issues and ask for whatever they can grant. Sometimes, they can offer rental assistance to help pay rent and they may be able to direct you to low income apartments that ba<x>se your monthy rent on income and if you could get cash assitance then that would give you a place to live with your kids. I know that many feel welfare is a handout, I used to be one of those people, but for a mother that is down on her luck and has children to care for, Welfare, is a blessing. Just because you need it now does not mean you will need it forever. Use it to get back on your feet. Keep your newborn strong and healthy and once the baby can be away from you for longer periods in the day, then you can consider a certified babysitter and get back to working and finding something that makes you happy and takes care of your family. When you are happy, your kids will, in turn, be happy. I am giving you all this encouragment because I need it too. I am also trying to talk myself into lacing up my boot straps and getting back to life.