Remains To Be Seen (day 4)

Back to those days now...
It´s friday morning and I´m up, showered and just had my breakfast. Today is different, I finally got permission to wear my own clothes and less trouble with the visitation. So when I was sitting outside underneath a big tree wondering what could happen when I get out, if I´m ready to be outside and try to have a normal life, be alone and build my own fortress inside so I can just be strong and handle my life without being empty. Suddenly a doctor calls me, a weird old guy with black scrubs. He was no resident and wanted to talk with me. So there I was in a room alone with him and my chart right in front of me. This guy was a brick and didn´t care about what I had to say, he had a different purpose. I don´t remember all of his questions but these are some of them:
1. What day is today?
2. Difference between a cat and a dog?
3. What does an airplane and a ship have in common?
4. Count 8 digits backwards starting from 100
And finally... How is a raven like a writing desk?
I´m not a moron and I´m pretty decent with math so didnt have a single problem with his mind games, but the last question... that was a trick. Good thing I´m a reader and I was curious enough to read Alice in Wonderland. One of the characters made up that strange riddle. And luckily for me I knew that even the writer of the book didn´t know the answer when he wrote it. I said that to him and I added they do have something in common, Edgar Allan Poe wrote about them both. He wasn't impressed with that answer. I just wanted to be out of there. I did have a chance to read what we wrote down, terrible handwriting but I did read: Highly intelligent and LLI (Low Latent Inhibition) And he ruled out the possibility of me being bipolar, that´s a relief. Now I head back to my room for some smokes and I hear the intro of Paint It Black of The Rolling Stones. My ringtone of course! It was a text message from Bella telling me that she was there. Oh boy not a time to be nervous, if she wants to see me it´s because she cares. So I walked to the little bar they had and there she was. When she finally made sure it was me she decided to come where I was. She said hey! my answer was pretty much the same. Then she asked me how was I doing, I just made a cute smile and said: Look around. She looked different, obviously changed, Peter had a lot to do with it, at least that´s my theory. She was more open minded and had some new vices. At least she shared a marlboro with me and we started to catch up a bit. I noticed there was this tall guy, not athletic or built up. Just protective, so I guess he was the one in love with her. Of course when I asked her, she answered: Oh Lionel, he´s just a friend. Anyways I don´t blame the poor guy, she was in a psych ward and not every patient had a nice temper. It felt so good talking to her. She was still my friend and shared the same things. We just needed to adapt to that scenario and get used to us seeing each other older and more mature. When she left I had to go back to my room. Odin and my mom were there. They both were talking, waiting for Anna and Cain. I was a bit tired and wanted to rest a bit. I was in my bed thinking about the weird questions of that doctor and what the hell is low latent inhibition? In that quiet moment, where I finally had some peace without hearing patients screaming or being interviewed by doctors... suddenly I heard "Paint It Black" another text message? I thought It was Kat but then I saw my cell, it wasn't Kat, it was HER calling me. I started to feel numb, angry and finally sad. Obviously I didn´t answer and then she started sending text messages:
Paul we need to finish our english work...
Paul answer me...
Paul where are you... No one knows where you are... I´m worried

I honestly cried... my mom tried to enter the room but I wanted to be alone. Everyone was there, except Kat. I was deep inside my thoughts and started to remember everything, the day of the fight, the 2 days in my room. EVERYTHING. She was haunting me and it was making me feel insecure and lonely. I grabbed my cigarettes left the room. I was looking for place outside to be alone and I found one, I was nervous. She was having fun that week and then she decides to worry about me? Odin suddenly appeared from nowhere and started talking to me. He said that I had friends and they all wanted me to be better and if she is not part of that process I should just turn off my phone or change my number. She is no good, he said. You are hurt and afraid of her hurting you more. It´s enough man, go back to your room, be with your friends and see the other side of life. That´s what I did, he made me feel a little bit better but getting that moment out of my head was going to take some time. It was dark and I forgot to ask who was the guardian staying with me? They all said, Kat will. Life does have a mysterious way of getting things in order. My mom asked me what I wanted for dinner, this time I wanted pizza and brownies. So my mom ordered it and Kat arrived. Since the moment she saw me it was obvious to her that something happened to me, that I was different. When we were alone having dinner I told her everything, she was mad, but decided to help me feel better talking about something else. It was my pill time and for the first time I wanted to stay awake with her but hell those pink pills are killers. The strange thing is that I couldn't fall asleep. She asked me if I wanted to see a movie or something. All right sure, she puts House M.D and it was the double episode of the psychiatric hospital. I was intrigued with it and even ate the second piece of brownie. I was still sleepless. And Kat was starting to worry. So she said: What If I try with a massage? All right, sounds good. She started rubbing my back and I felt sleepy but not enough to stay in the dark. Suddenly she is on her knees sleeping on a side of my bed, she got tired of rubbing my back and fell asleep. I wanted to stay up with her, it was such a special moment but I woke her up and told her to sleep in the chair I was good. A small lie, but she tried. It was my fault. I barely slept that night and still it was the most special one.
LostSherlock LostSherlock
22-25, M
Sep 12, 2012