The Lion Sleeps Tonight (day 6)

I can´t even start defining how bad was that day in every single way. I was feeling angry, frustrated, misguided, tired, sick and didn´t trust a single soul of those who were with me. How am I supposed to confide details so unique, that together solves the puzzle of me. Something curious in life, I was good solving a puzzles and best thing about it is when you finish solving it, you brag about it, get your prize and then you can just scramble up the pieces and throw it away. They had the power to solve me like a puzzle and take that from me, without understanding me. Pain is strange. A cat killing a bird, a car accident, a fire.... Pain arrives, BANG, and there it is, it sits on you. It's real. And to anybody watching, you look foolish. Like you've suddenly become an idiot. There's no cure for it unless you know somebody who understands how you feel, and knows how to help. I felt alone that Sunday. It was the loneliest day of my life and I couldn't even cry because all of my guardians were there including my mom. I was supposed to be happy! Almost a week in that place and I forgot what day it was, what I liked to do, everything. I wanted to be out, it was unfair. I was not going to lose my mind over something so worthless, but I was losing it, every single valuable asset was gone. I asked Dr. Davidson when was I supposed to leave? He said: Soon, I´m sorry we didn´t help you, your mind is an anchor right now and even if everyone tells you do to something, you will end up doing other. And finally you will end up in a room again, alone this time. My doctor was telling me that or was I hallucinating? Anyways it was strange and I was out of smokes and tired of pretending everything was all right. I stayed in my room and fell asleep. Suddenly I´m in a different room with her... and she´s begging me to break the chains, because she won´t do it, she will continue lying, faking, breaking me, causing only pain in my life if I don´t. You can´t fix me! You can´t fix us! And she was right, but that wasn't really her. That was just me created a valid excuse to send her away. The only wrong thing about my theory was that she said at the end, you will fall for me again. That angry lion you have inside will end up sleeping with me.
Kat wakes me because I was bending the iron of the bed and I was angry and violent. She screamed... Paul Paul Paul... there is no lion... that lion is sleeping in your dreams. You are with us and we will help you. I calmed down but I notice Kat´s wrist... it was bruised... Did I hurt you Kat? She just nodded and hugged me, it wasn't you. I think you were dreaming about your dad. No I wasn´t Kat. I saw her in my dream and she talked about being together again, I´m not crazy am I? No Paul you are a little bit ahead of the curve sometimes and that´s no good for anyone. You will find love I promise and it will not be something you can predict. You know what I feel with you Paul? You are not feeling sad of this moment, you are feeling sad for what is about to come. And I know this doesn´t make any sense but your dreams cause you to worry too much and makes your future unstable. Cain is staying tonight, you should take your pill and try to rest. When Kat left I was freaked out, my emotions were not from today, I was feeling something way ahead but how is that possible? and what is going to happen for me to not trust any of them? Why will I trip again with the same rock? mmm... This is why psychiatrists call it depression. Your mind plays tricks on you so that way you can´t get better. Cain gave me a smoke and said: Before that lion of yours goes to sleep. I just smiled, finished my smoke and ended my Sunday...
LostSherlock LostSherlock
22-25, M
Sep 12, 2012