Im Just Extremely Lonely

ive just been diagnosed with hsv2, it really has sent me down a spiral, im currently on suppressive therapy that is not working.

my sister just texted me that my father is dying
"just to let you know your father is dying"
is exactly how she said it. to add insult to injury.

i feel like im just this disgusting ugly tainted thing. i look beautiful on the outside but im so damaged within.

i feel like no one is going to want to get to know me the true me. i find myself crying all day for no reasons at all. if love is so easy and simple why is it so hard to find.

even when good things are happening around me i am not happy. i just graduated nursing school. and found myself crying. i was not happy, meanwhile everyone is celebrating and happy for me.

im scared that i will never be able to love the way i want
i want to be able to hold someone and have them hold me, without fear of infecting them.

i want to make love
passionately,
rough
and exciting
without fear of outbreaks or spreading this disease.

i was already not in a so happy place. but know i am severely depressed. i pretend a lot make jokes, smile but all that is so fake.

i really just wanna
cry,
kick
and scream

i just wanna be
held,
caressed
be assured that everything will be okay



vincetna vincetna
26-30
1 Response Sep 12, 2012

Me too.. Hi! :)