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A Stressful Week Of Major Life Decisions

It's been a stressful and depressing week for me. I made very difficult decisions.

First, I broke up with my boyfriend. Until now I still have to find the courage to tell him what's wrong. Well I don't even know what's wrong. He's nice and he wants to help me out with my struggles. It's my emo self that's rejecting him.

I find relationships a stressful and traumatic exercise. Okay, I enjoy having people from time to time telling me they "love" me, but I don't know, I just can't convince myself. I'm always critical of their intentions, me thinking of their interests: Are they just for the sex? Or they're just looking for companions, a human teddy bear?

(Well I can explain these things on another story later, meh.)

Second, I quit my part-time job. It's too stressful working with people that don't know how to treat you right. With that no one from the original team remained in my workplace, and I have no regrets.

What I can do for now is for the college term to end so that I can focus with this novel I'm working on. And yeah, I'll be covering a book fair south of Manila tomorrow. Maybe it can help me forget these thoughts, at least for the weekend.

P.S:

You know's what more depressing? It's when people do not understand why you are feeling this way. No, I never broke up with him just because of those false romantic concepts - trust, holding on whatever. Can't he understand it's my own struggle preventing me from connecting to him?
mikkieugenio mikkieugenio 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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One day you will use this week's experiences in a new book! Keep up the writing. It is a great way to relieve stress and get yourself "lost" in a totally new world! You will get through this stress, and you will be better off. Congratulations!

Thank you :)

Writing is awesome! A whole world away from home... unless you're doing an autobiography... ¬. ¬

My story (pending for 5 years now) is about a high school student who went missing a few weeks after his graduation day. I want to focus on the impact on how such kinds of situations impact the lives of people close to him.

And yeah, somewhat it's a relief, I have the chance to inject my personal experiences or thoughts into the characters.

Five years! That's true dedication no matter the length, good for you!

Thanks for the encouragement. Hope I can have it published by next year. It's written in Filipino though -__-