A Stressful Week Of Major Life DecisionsIt's been a stressful and depressing week for me. I made very difficult decisions.
First, I broke up with my boyfriend. Until now I still have to find the courage to tell him what's wrong. Well I don't even know what's wrong. He's nice and he wants to help me out with my struggles. It's my emo self that's rejecting him.
I find relationships a stressful and traumatic exercise. Okay, I enjoy having people from time to time telling me they "love" me, but I don't know, I just can't convince myself. I'm always critical of their intentions, me thinking of their interests: Are they just for the sex? Or they're just looking for companions, a human teddy bear?
(Well I can explain these things on another story later, meh.)
Second, I quit my part-time job. It's too stressful working with people that don't know how to treat you right. With that no one from the original team remained in my workplace, and I have no regrets.
What I can do for now is for the college term to end so that I can focus with this novel I'm working on. And yeah, I'll be covering a book fair south of Manila tomorrow. Maybe it can help me forget these thoughts, at least for the weekend.
You know's what more depressing? It's when people do not understand why you are feeling this way. No, I never broke up with him just because of those false romantic concepts - trust, holding on whatever. Can't he understand it's my own struggle preventing me from connecting to him?