Better Off Dead................

I'm so torn as I sit alone in a lifeless jumble of secret thoughts. Wanting to end this bitter pain for some relief, even momentarily. It wont subside. This negative force that breaks my heart and kills my joy. Feeling sorry with useless tears, Are nights long gone. The visceral truth is lain bare. Fear is the only motivation to carry on this cowardly charade Isolation. The only option not to scare the world Not able to grasp at the offer of life, No longer able to play the optimist Perhaps that's the way to go, sink into the depths of despair, Drown in the uselessness of it all..
Anto815 Anto815
46-50, F
4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

As we have talked about before I have been where you are at several times. The thing that keeps me from taking my own life is the fact that I want to go to heaven where I am certian that we will no longer feel the pain. I know that if I take my own life, I will not be allowed into heaven, so I am waiting here untill God is ready for me. I really look forward to seeing you there some day, so please hang in there till God is ready for you too. Good Luck

let me give you a pause? maybe knowing some one will share th8s withyou could help?

the truth is that death could be a relief to some

I sometimes feel that way because I live a very hard life. There is not a day that goes by when I don't have pain or am rushed in the hospital with a temp of 101.5 and pneumonia. It is not that I want to take my life it is that if it does happen maybe then my pain will go away once and for all. Would u be my friend message me and let me know..Thanks

I would be your friend as you want.

the disapearance of pain could create some joy? If joy sounds good let me know.

I feel like this too sometimes I see no point to this thing called life anymore. I don't think it's cowardice though to keep living more like deep down strength that we don't even know we have. Maybe you and I can help each other out.

Hey Thanks for reading my post I would love to be friend with u I will try on my end u may also message me. I will let u know if it works...wish me luck because i really do want to become friends with u.Antonia