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I Battle Depression

Served In Silence

By: latinlaydey
Written on September 23rd, 2012
i became depressed when i was sexually assulted in the military, i thought i was the only one it ever happened to, i continued serving but was never the same, i became a drunk, i gained lots of weight to hide inside myself, i just escaped wit drugs, drinking, eating, i started cutting to release pain. Now im out, going thru therapy, that part of my life i will never get back, im trying so hard to deal wit everyday task, but the nitemares keep on coming even after 20yrs out, i smile on the outside but dying on the inside,
By: latinlaydey
Age: 46-50 , Female
136 people have read this story

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9 responses
  • foreverhated
    foreverhated

    Hang in there there is so many people who care for u even including me i will always be on line i'm here if u need someone to listen!!!!!!! Good bless

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • foreverhated
    foreverhated

    Hang in there there is so many people who care for u even including me i will always be on line i'm here if u need someone to listen!!!!!!! Good bless

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • Christyna
    Christyna

    I have endured a lot of trauma too and I have found that taking 2 mood stabilizers have reduced my ptsd significantly.

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • latinlaydey
    latinlaydey

    thank you all for the comforting words, it feels good knowing theres people who really care, i wish i cud talk to my family but they have there own to deal wit n i just cant tell them, they think im okay, ive been hospitalized several time so they know im depressed but nobody has ever asked WHY, i just dont want to cut but my sadness is becoming overwhelming, my heart is heavy again, im hanging on, again thank you

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • blndtwr31
    blndtwr31

    I know about them nightmares, its been 20 years since i was attacked as a child and ive been plagues with bad dreams ever since. My attacker was sent to prison where he eventually dies of cancer, but i still have fear and bad dreams. Hugggggsssss..... your not alone sweetie. If you ever need to talk. Huggggsssssss

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
    • blndtwr31
      blndtwr31

      Excuse the typos's lol my phone makes up its on mind of what should be typed out lol.

      Sep 23, 2012
      1 like
  • lylkitkat
    lylkitkat

    If u ever need to talk u can message me i will always listen and try to help i no what it feels to smile on the outside and to be dying inside i feel that everyday

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like