My Beautiful Son

My son tried to kill himself last week, nearly three weeks after I took too many pills (he never knew) and the guilt and shame I am feeling and I am soooo scared that he will try again and I wont be there to stop him

 

He is eighteen and very confused - and I am at a loss apart from staying and listening and loving him, its soo hard

deborah290 deborah290
41-45, F
1 Response May 9, 2007

Recently my son who is also 18 (he is a twin) got intoxicated and also talked about ending his life... my other son was there to try to comfort him but he also got totally scared and told me in the morning what had happened..... i also (like you) cant be there every second of the day to avoid such tragic situations. I had a talk with him and told him how loved he was and that he wasnt a mistake but i dont think he understood. i offered him some counselling with his first cousellor.<br />
(he has been in couselling ever since his father tried to acquire custody of him when he was ten and he didnt want to go - ugly three years of court)... He has had major issues with the rejection of his father who left me when the twins were three weeks old. At present both boys wanted to live with their dad (as they never had before) and their lives have been filled with disappointment and rejection... They spent countless hours at my home but refuse to move back in.<br />
Take the time to find out what has or is bothering your son. Children are like grass,,, if you cut the grass it will grow back.. Sometimes also alcohol can enhance thoughts of suicide. especially in teens.<br />
Oh and did i mention that their father is bipolar... so we all have skeletons in the closet. Just be there to support him as a parent should. We all love our children and they dont understand that we have many more life experiences on our hands and what we tell them is because we have probably lived it ourselves... If you can get through this period of his life... he will change.<br />
They say the teenage brain doesnt fully develop until after 19 and that the reasoning part is not developed.<br />
So hang in there. Its a very tough job raising teenager. <br />
But give him lots of love, attention, and support.<br />
Best of luck to you!!!