Depression Story # 4

I Battle depression...I Battle Depression...I Battle Depression,We all battle depression hopein that we can get a handle on it,but we cant.All the Therapy
and Pills just dont ******* work and the Therapist say they care but they dont
there is no anwser for this,and you know what we will be like this forever,I feel like I'm going insane.But thats ok...The Raven is here to go insane with
you,lets have fun with this ****.It's having sooo much ******* fun with us.Being alone is the least of your problems,never fear death,but just fear life.I'm not here to get nobody down,or to be non helpful.But I just want you all to know
that we all battle this and we arent going to win.And hey it wont get better.
It's like being a condemed vampire,we want to be gone but cant.But I have the anwser to winning.I have the anwser to win the unwinnabel battle,and I'm going to win.But for now I battle Depression just like you.And just remember I'm not trying to get you down but tell the truth,because I'm down myself.
Raven22Raven Raven22Raven
22-25, M
1 Response Oct 16, 2012

I have had the disease since I was 9. My parents failed to act on the signs being afraid this would go on my permeant record. They were told this was just a phase I was going through. Well it wasn't a phase. Now 40 years later I still suffer from depression.

I have seen many doctors and taken the pills but I still suffer. The doctors say they care and some really do. But in the end, they look at you as a meal ticket. This is a very costly disease. The best doctors will not take your insurance no matter how good it is. So, this is an out of pocket expense. The medicines are expensive. With some medications once your on it you never come off it. If you try to, you have terrible mood swings. Getting off some medications is not as easy as getting on them. There are side effects like balance issues. I have had some problems with speech, pain, collecting complete thoughts as well as sleep issues. They are great to put one asleep but it is hard to get up.

The medicines do not stop suicide. Depending on the stress one is under, one could commit suicide. These medications are to straighten out brain chemicals. They do do this yet as I can tell you your never free from the pain nor free from suicidal thoughts. There is no miracle cure. The worst is when the medications stop working all together.

I have read where a venal implant really helps. Yet this is an invasive procedure and not many have undergone the treatment yet. I do not know if it is a long term cure or not.

I say keep up with the good fight. Many people have lived long and productive lives with this disease. You could be one of them. So don't do anything stupid and just do what the doctor says. Be pro active with your doctor to let them know what works and what doesn't work. Change things up as needed. Sooner rather than later the right combinations will be found for you to relieve your symptoms. You will feel the relief immediately after taking the pills and they build up in your blood stream.

Good luck.

Ok,But I already really wanna die,I'm just gonna give this a try,but I know it's possible this will kill me,but I'm ok with that,or maybe I dont really mean that.