So tired of feeling alone. Should really go and see a doctor but i am hoping i can pull myself out of this downward spiral. Its late for me and i know i have to get up to the kids in the morning yet i still can't seem to close my eyes. Swore i would never live at home with my parents yet here i am. Its nice to have some company but when they all go to bed i am left with a flat phone and my wandering thoughts. I wish i could say that it wasn t a man/boy that did this to me but alas it was. Have to put on a brave face for the kids, no more tears. He gets to escape, i can t break down. Where do i turn when it all gets to much i have to get up to the kids everyday why aren t i allowed to let anyone see me fall to pieces. They all think i am so strong but i am dying inside. It took so much strength to walk away and even more to stay away. I am ashamed of myself for letting him to get to me so much. Maybe this is a new begining or the point where i fall apart completely. To many broken hearts soon their will be nothing left to break.