Living With Depression

Throught the years I have been battling depression/anxiety.Most of my episodes have been short lived maybe lasting 3 week at a time. I have had 2 very long depression. This is my second one and I've been living it over a year.

In the past i had ECT treatments, been in the hospital a couple times and been on many medications.

I am currently with a psychiatrist, a therapist and on lots of medication for my mental health. I have been resistent to the medication. It's been over a year now and i feel like I'm still at step one for I have not found a mediction that's therapeutic for me.

I currently feel very much alone, discouaged and not sure how I can keep living life. Mental health is a very expensive disease espicially when my health insurance does not pay anything.

I appreciate any feed back from any one who can get me out of this desolate place or help me through my day

keeva keeva
46-50, F
4 Responses Nov 29, 2012

I empathize with you. I have bern battling depression and anxiety for eight years. Most of my episodes usually havnt lasted long either. But the one I'm experiencing now since the summer...horrible. I've been on the med merry go round too. Maybe I'm resistant too. And I'm tired of waiting for something to work. My dr just weaned me off the much for that black cloud to stop following me. She's then taking me off the Lexapro. The buspar does contro my anger i know this because i was off of it and saw who I became This is what I be med free I've kinda given up hope. And then she said hey let's try topamax. Sure why not. Dr's are supposed to know it all.....NOT. I know I shouldn't give up the hope to get better, I know I will never be well. Too much from PTSD. To think I was actually a normal person before 2004. How things have changed. I try and try and nothing. I can't blame myself for stopping trying but as long as there are people who believe in me maybe I can heal and live instead of just surviving. Don't push people away like me. Thanks for listening. I hope you get the help you need and that you have people in your life besides EP. Best to you.

I don't think I was ever on topamax. Tell me more about this and it's side effects you have encountered with this med

Not on topamax yet. I see dr on the 14th. I will let you know. I go on the crazy med website. Drug is also called stupidmax. Go figure

Out of curiosity I'll have to check that one out. It kind of sound like some sort of tampon you want to look in the femine isle for. I'm to the point of either going off alot of my meds or giving lithium a try. I have a couple doctors encouaging me to take lithium even though I'm not bipolar

Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I've never tried it myself but my doctor recommended it to me. I'm currently on paroxetine but have tried other medication in the past.

Thank you for commenting to my story. I have been working with my therapist on cognitve therapy and yes it does help. I hope your medication is working for you. Is the mediciene your on now paxil

I might have to try CBT because its highly recommended. How long are your CBT sessions? Yes I'm on Paxil but have tried fluoxetine and others in the past that I can't remember

It's a continuous learning experience. My therapist helps me with it and guides me back when I have difficulties. I use it every day. It's not a cure all, but it does help especially if you can catch it before it becomes embedded. I am very hard on myself and cognitive therapy does help dismantle thought before they take over.

Sounds like you have extreme episodic depression. I don't know what the clinical name for that is. Mine is called dysthymia and is sort of always brooding beneath the surface, but has been responsive to medication. I would hope that this most recent episode ends soon and you can get a sort of "remission".

Hi got side tracked I've got bpad although I spend my like arguing my diagnosis I think I have bipar . Found so many people that need counselling and talking . This wouldn't happen thanx jodies

Thanks for replying back. I'm not bipolar but psychiatrist would like me to try lithium. I have fighting against it, but I am feeling so discouraged I am thinking about it. Life cannot continue to go on this way. Sorry about my mood it,s just where I am right now. There is a more cheerful side of me, but at this time the depressive side of me is out.