Heart Broken Trying To Carry On

So first love? so amazing, so magical, so exciting right? well yah i suppose it is untill it ends.

So i am getting on in life and had thought i had found Mr right, the one who made me feel so loved, so special and worth so much. All was well in my world and nothing was going to knock me down untill i met his friend... after gong out one night his friend decided we should have an ****... i agreed although in all honesty i should have listened to my gut and not done it. After the **** all seemed well but my feelings of un ease when we were not together and crying when he was not around due to what i now know as a lack of trust got worse and worse and eventually consumed me to the point where i could not really cope and began shutting the people i cared about out of my life.

After sometime i found out that one of the girls we had an **** with was pregnant and it may be my now ex boyfriends baby. After being told it wasn't i still had feelings of unease and eventually i found out it was his. I felt like my heart had been torn out as the next day we met up and we inevatiblly broke up.

During this talk i found out he had cheated on me with a gril he met doing his work deliveries and i found out all the explanations of who she was were total lies.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out and am struggling with feeling betrayed, and am trying to figure out how i am going to get over him when all i can think about is what he is done and how he got this chick prengant. What makes matters worse is this girl still wans to see me and be my friend.

The more i think the situation through the more i feel like the pieces of the puzzle do not fit. This feels like a plot by the girl as at one point they were **** buddies and to me it seems as she wanted a baby so badly she used him to have another baby.
fightingstrong fightingstrong
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 29, 2012

Thank you x. I am finding it hard as i randomly burst into tears. I know everyone goes through this with their first love but i just dunno how i am going to get through this although i know he is not worthy of my tears and there are plenty of guys out there.

god bless u that must really hurt stay strong