Feeling Numb...

Hi.  I have been fighting an ongoing battle with depression off and on for the last 26 years; the last 6 years have been the most extreme and severe.  I've been reading many of the posts here and I see there a many others who have shared in this battle and are still working towards recovery.  I don't know if depression is something that will ever completely go away, but with time and knowledge I hope to become more and more fine tuned to the triggers.  One thing that I have committed myself to living by this year (and beyond) is setting clear and firm boundaries with those in my life that trigger much of my depression and anxiety.  I feel stronger for doing that and even though the people in my life are pissed off about it, I personally don't care.  I am a wife, mother, student and artist and to be the best me I can be, I must put myself first and cut off the BS in my life.  I've been on meds for two years and they have made a difference in a positive way, however, having said that, I still have my good days and bad days with depression.  My pshychologist has me track my ups and down on a curve chart - at the bottom is #1 (suicidal) at the top is #10 (feeling on top of the world happy).  Most of the time I float between #4 and #8, but I have hit rock bottom (#1) on more than one occassion.  I try to encourage others suffering from depression, it does get better with the right help, medical care, support and I'm a strong believer in cognitive therapies.  I look forward to reading more about others here that are also going through similar experiences.
Ianna Ianna
36-40, F
1 Response May 17, 2007

I have been dealing with depression since the late 80's. The most important thing for me was to accept that it IS a medical condition. You can't just snap out of it because you have a chemical inbalance! The second most important thing was for me to stop spending so much time trying to figure out what was depressing me. I've gotten to the point where I recognize that I'm going through a 'bout and take extra care of myself to weather the storm.