Depression

I'm super mad right now.I have a friend that I thought was friend.But I'm avoiding the whole thing of him even thinking of liking me.I keep on telling him stories about things that are currently happening to me right now.For example,I am super depressed, because I don't know what are friends?Foremost I just told a suppose friend. Someone from Elementary school- that I liked her, but I was being gross about it? I don't know. I feel so hurt. My heart is hurting but I'm a girl and she's a girl. So why would I ever fall in like with someone who I love?I love her because she always has the right words to say, but I feel I lost myself. Actually no I'm not lost, but that I'm lost with where I'm going.Like I feel and think that I consumed my life with the past memories, and I can't really do life alone. I don't have many friends I can talk to or spend my days with. But just a like two or three?I don't know I'm super lost and I feel trapped.Also I feel in my heart that someones out to do something wrong to me, and i have to be on my toes with awareness. Like Police Officer are always on my mind. I don't want any problems. My life is Lost and i can't understand it?Any help? Any ideas?And I think I'm confused with my sexuality. I'm a girl but I think I like girls too.And I like boys too, but I really just want to cuddle and spend time with someone who cares.
Any ideas?maybe I should get out more to meet someone, but how?Should I get someones number and start talking to someone I like by the phone?And than go on a date like to the movies? Let me know anyone.Please I just want to do the right thing and end up with the right person.Or be able to date and not feel guilty and lost, because I have or had past feelings for someone.
rickdutch15 rickdutch15
22-25, F
Dec 4, 2012