I suddenly woke up at midnight crying...I’m seriously fed up, I want to stop feeling things and am such a coward not to end my life as my neighbour when I found his cadaver through suicide.

It hurts, its annoying to feel, to think, to be alive. 

HedoZen HedoZen
41-45, F
10 Responses Dec 10, 2012

sorry ,, hugging you during your fear ,,

Try to find something you love to do, see, become and make it your goal to achieve it., maybe it helps.

I cannot offer you a call, b/c I'm too far away. As a depression sufferer, I know you will be able to hang on. You already did it from the 10th of December. I am praying for you.

sweet you, thank you sweety xxx

I see it as a privilege to do it. I know that you will gain the upper-hand with the help and grace of Jesus. Love!!

I hear ya Girl, I've fought with that most of my life. In and out of it a thousand times........the only thing I've really learned is that for each time I've gone in I've come out to.

I've had doctors and friends say "if it gets bad just call.........." and I just look at them with a blank stare.......'really.....just call'. For me I have as much chance of calling as I do of putting my boots on, stepping out the front door and climbing Mount freakin' Everest.

Now, if you can avoid giving me a blank stare.........Girl you can always call.

Love you, xo

It hurts, I'm sorry, sharing the pain is an illusion, understanding it is part of the solution.

Annoying yes, but you have to struggle on, to give up shouldn't be an option, although I have considered using my .357 every once and a great while

*oh* u guys have it so easy access to guns its amazing

I know it's easier said than done. But with your character I'm sure you'll be ok. Just hold on. I often woke up in the middle of a dream crying, almost every night. But I keep on trying everyday, to take things one day at a time. And to fight and to be strong.

Don't give up hun.

I’ve already given up in some way...yesterday was the day last year I discovered my neighbours cadaver. He gave up the day be4 new year, I since think damn how good that must feel except for the people close but hey...luv ya xxx

I love you


I'm only trying to help.

1 More Response

You can be very strong. And I am here for you.

Ur sweetttt xxx

Hang in there dear, I managed to get my depression under control with the help of the right medicine and the grace of the Lord.