I'm Lost And Don't Know What To Do

So, I'm 16 years old and I have been depressed since I was 13. As a young child I was abused by my farther physically and that has stayed with me through my teenage years. My mum and dada split when I was 12 and I thought that things would get better. Much to my disappointment it only got worse. I didn't fit in at school and never had many friends. My siblings have always had my mothers attention and I was always left alone. I always managed to keep a smile on my face till christmas last year when things got really bad. My mother had a stroke in August 2011 and I had to take care of her and my younger siblings. I managed to balance looking after them all and school so I never really had time for a social life. In January 2012 I started skipping school and my grades went extremely low. Teachers were concerened and my mum took me to see my GP. They reffered me to CBT to help with my depression and I have been working with a therapist for almost year. Although I sometimes feel like it has been working, recently I have been beginning to feel really bad again. I keep thinking about death and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my therapist as I'm scared about what might happen. I'm often left alone and I sometimes plan my own death. I think I need help but I really don't know what to do.
km12 km12
18-21
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

Wait!, before do anything please just wait and hear what i have to say.
years ago i was planning my death too but i find that there´s a solution for every problem, it doesn´t matter how difficult they can be, there´s always a reason to live, you´ve live a difficult life, but the life is of our own, and we decide the way of our life, don´t surrender, just fight, fight becouse one day in your life you will only find smiles, and the warmly feel of a lovely house, try to be the one that you one to be, start now, and try to forget all the bad, belive in a new world, in a new style of life, and go for your dreams, fight and make them true, becouse i only want you to know, that you deserve the best, i´m pretty sure, so stand up and go, fight becouse the life that you want it´s there outside, waiting for you, and never forget how to love, have a nice day ^-^...and good luck in your life, i know that you can change your reality, make it better, make it true.