Just Another Day!

yesterday i had a good day i wasnt even worried about my ex until he called and asked to see me and i did! so stupid! we had sex and it brought all the emotions back but i have to admit i was so happy for the moment! so today i call him we talked and i told him to call me later! since i missed him i called him 2x and he didnt answer...

he calls me back...

i wanted to see him again tonight but he just goin to sleep he doesnt want to see me! i think he was with someother girl! i actually know he was! im so sad, im nothing to him i just want to tell him i want to be with him and i want him to understand me! i think im developing a eating disorder, i just want to have control over something, since i cant control my feelings or thoughts!

Today i ate...

  • 2 piece of toast
  • chips and salsa
  • yogurt
  • banana
  • drunk 2 glass of water
  • vitamin C & pernatel pill   

Im such a fat ***.........

SoEmPtY SoEmPtY
18-21, F
3 Responses May 23, 2007

ABSOULTLY BELIEVE IN POSTER CHILDS ADVICE ACTUALLY ITS THE BEST I EVER HERE HER STATE GOOD JOB GIRL, AND THE OTHER COMMENT. WHAT BOTHERS ME IS U SIAD I THINK I AM DEVELOPING A EATING DISORDER WHICH MAKES ME BELIEVE THAT U R DOING IT ON PURPOSE, THAT IS PURE STUPIDITY, U CAN ALSO CONTROL THAT YOU JUST WNAT TO BE SICK SO YOU ARE DOING WHAT EVER U CAN TO BE THAT WAY. GET IT TOGETHER LIFE IS SHORT WAY SHORTER THAN YOU THINK I AM 47 AND I CANT BLIEVE I AM THET OLD NOT THAT ITS OLD BUT I LOOK BACK AND BOY DID IT FLY.<br />
STOP NOW AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT BESIDES DESTROY IT.

Usually when there is a comment as good as Posterchilds I will just not post because I agree with what she has said. I would like to point out something though. My sister had an ex who was abusive and she constantly let him in to have sex when ever he called. She didn't want the sex she wanted to be close to him. She was alone when they split and it dosen't matter if fiends and family are around to give you support. The feeling of love that a man or women gets from being with one another far out weighs that of family support. I was a vicious cycle that had to be broke. You need to reset the boundries as Posterchild has stated because if you don't you will never be able to move on. He used you for sex, no matter what he has told you. You need to realise this.

Sweety i am right there with ya except he lives in iowa and im in ohio ,i will tell you this if he doesnt respect you ( which he doesnt from the sound of it ) you dont need him .. i just actually came home from therapy .. and we talked about my boundaries .. when a relationship ends the boundaries need to be reset . obviously something happened in the relationship to end it ... and from your eating you barely took in 1000 calories if even that if you are concerned you have an eating d/o get help trust me two yrs ago i weighed 78 lbs ... and i am also dealing with the controlling food in my life cycle again ... it is a hard battle when you feel like you have no control ... but we need to think of things that you do have control even simple things as getting out of bed in the morning , you control that start out with simple things and you will realize you have more control of things than you think ...