I Need Your Advice

I know that I should focus on the things I can change and accept the things that I cannot but its easier said than done. I've battled with self-hatred at a very young age and Al ways had felt worthless, ugly, inferior, unimportant and wanting to be invisible, Never really felt comfortable wherever I was. I've suffered depression silently for many years as well, I don't have friends and never really have. I'm not close with my family. They're abit dysfunctional. Even though we live under the same roof we dont communicate with each other and so theres no emotional support. I've never had anyone I could go to with my problems or just have a heart to heart. I've never felt my opinion mattered so I just isolated and withdrew from everyone. i grew up with a verbally abusive father and a emotionally distant mother, who both were careless, uninvolved parents.
Slowly I've started waking up to reality and its difficult to handle. Now I'm older and realise that I have wasted and done nothing with my life, hurts. I've let this disease affect my entire life for so long and in the end all this time all ive done is hurt myself. I feel extremely hopeless & helpless, with no direction, Confused Etc... ive never seeked help or taken antidepressants and lately ive been considering it. im scared about the side affects though. If anyone could please give me advice on their experience with anti depressants, therapy or natural remedies and what worked for you, it would be greatly appreciated. I don't usually do this but I felt the need to today. I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
An Ep User An EP User
3 Responses Jan 10, 2013

The light isn't at the end of the tunnel honey. It's in the tunnel. You just need to turn it on. It's terrible that people that should be closest to you can't even be relied on for support. I'm talking about your family of course. With them being like that I'm sure it makes it hard for you to reach out to others. Well, you're strong. If you can return on here, you can reach out to others. Even more importantly I can see you're strong enough to stand up for yourself. It's the greatest strength of all when you don't have to rely on others , although it never hurts to have a shoulder on which to cry. Somewhere you will find 1 , only if you let it find you. As for medication I don't know what to tell you. Personally I don't believe in medicating depression. At least not with harmful drugs. Cannabis would be a good alternative , also I would recommend meditation and yoga. All of these relax the mind and allow you to think and focus clearly. Once you relax , you will be able to focus. Then realize that all your life wasn't just nothing. It is everything you've done to make you who you are. Your life is an experience project

Love hasn't forgotten you. Find who you are. Find comfort in yourself first then you'll be strong enough to say and do what you want. Love yourself first.

If you need someone to talk to just message me I'll give you my email

Going to see your family doctor is your fist step
Ask you doctor far a referral for a good psychiatrist
Some and maybe most antidepressants work well. The side effects usually go away in about two weeks.
Seeing a good therapist has probably helped me the most.
What you're feeling is normal when going through depression, there is help.
I don't have many friends, but I do have a couple I can share with. Sometimes we don't talk a whole lot, but it still helps.
Is there anyone you can reach out to. find comfort with someone. It's real good to have a little out side support.