Really Need Honest Advice

I have been on and off with my ex for four years. From day one I knew he was cheap I didn't have a problem with it at first but now I do. He never bought me anything not even for valentine day or Christmas.He says you don't have to buy a person gifts just to prove you love them I agree but receiving a gift every now and then want hurt. In a relationship I believe in talking to my boyfriend everyday,seeing my boyfriend as much as I can being there for bf mentally physically spiritually. He doesn't like to talk on the phone so we don't talk at all on the phone then all he wanna do is text he dont even like going out and I told him it want hurt for us to go out and spend some quality time together. He says I'm not considering his feelings??? To me it just feels like he's not ready for a relationship. I asked him why he never bought me anything especially for valentine day his response was I know that he don't like to buy anything and the reason why he didn't buy me anything for valentine day is because he didn't know I wanted anything I was so hurt when he said that. What female wouldn't want anything on that day. He keeps saying I don't love him because I'm trying to change him how could I not love him when I want to spend every waking moment with him. I feel like he don't love me because he could never be a man and pick up the phone for about 30 minutes and talk to me he never offered to take me anywhere and that hurts my feelings. He offered one time to go out with my sister and I but he said he didn't have any money so I had to pay. He's making me out to be the bad person when it's him. I can't be in a relationship with him I just can't. I know I deserve better
An Ep User An EP User
3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Sounds sort of like me 40 years ago. Here's what I wish someone had told me at age 19: "Stop putting out for him and if sex is what he wants most, he'll come crawling and begging, or he'll get it elsewhere (your biggest fear, right?). Either way, you will know that he's selfish and ** only wants his itch scratched *** If you can't be strong enough to resist those marvelous *******, then satisfy yourself! But don't be a sexual slave to any man unless he gives you a wedding ring and pledges his undying devotion for the rest of his life."

Life's hard enough without settling for mediocre, and they way you describe this guy, he's no prize. Also sounds like you are scared you can't do better, maybe because treats you so poorly. But clearly you are clinging to him and chasing him away.

A good man who treats your right will not make you clingy, you will feel confident and happy. Put this one back and draw another!

Thanks, Kay! Some days I make sense, other days you might not be so complementary, LOL!!

Cheer up Dear, What you are describing is a man that has you as a sidekick and a main girl elsewhere. As long as you accept his behavior and give up the goodies he will never change. He doesnt call because he is busy with someone else. He doesnt buy you anything because he cant afford two ladies. He doesnt take you out becasue he is afraid of being seen in public and blow his cover or running into someone that knows he is dating the main girl. If you want confirmation hire a detective to follow him or watch a few episodes of Cheaters. Bottomline drop the jerk and find someone who will give you what you want time,answer your calls and vise versa with gifts on those special days and lots of affection. Life is too short to be a sidekick.
Good day.

well 1st of you do deserve better. and it doesn't sound like you are a gold digger. and to me he seems to be really greedy. i can't tell you dump him!! because well only you can decide that but i would suggest you to do something about your current realationship
(he can always be poor and well not have much money, but that doesn't mean he can't buy something nice. even if you don't ask for something if he knows you he would buy you something you would consider extreamly cute