My Battle.

Every day I fight this. I get the growing feeling inside of me, whenever I look in a mirror, see myself, I hate myself. I want to hurt myself, kill myself, simply because I'm just too ugly, too horrible a person to live.

I honestly spend every day believing that I was put on this earth so other people have someone to laugh at, someone to point at and be happy that they're not like me. I am a horribly ugly freak. It's not just what I think, it's the honest-to-God truth. Have you ever been falsely called a rapist, simply because, according to the girl 'you looked so ugly you couldn't get it any other way'? I have. That was a fun day.

When I told my mum I suffer from depression, she told me I ruined everything and subsequently disowned me as her son. She told me I ruined her life, ruined my own as well, for having this horrible illness. I now live on my own in my own flat.

I got messaged last year by a society at uni I had joined. They told me I was a horrible person, listed all my worst qualities, and told me never to go near anyone from that society again.

I have tried to kill myself so many times, and it frightens me, because deep down, inside, I just want to be wanted. I want someone to look at me, and say that honest-to-God, they want me to live.

I don't have that.
Rainbowliz Rainbowliz
Jan 12, 2013