I Don't Know

My depression kicked in round grade 8, being bullied since I first went to school mixed with my mother screaming at me for not being good enough cause me to slash at my wrist. When she found out she told me never to do it again for it made her look bad in front of her friends. For grade 9 I went to a school where everyone had grown up with eachother and again I was bullied and excluded. A week before exams I almost killed myself and was sent to the hospital. After that they said my dads was the best place for me. Everything was getting better til a 50ish year old man raped me, I still remember his face. I told no one for I was embarrassed. It eats away at me everyday. After him I needed control and started messing around with older guys. Used and abused over and over again, still not fitting into school, crying in class not being able to work. I don't know, is it normal for a 15 year old guy to wish everyday that he'd somehow die so he doesn't have to do it himself, is it normal for a 15 year old kid to be used and abused over and over again by older men? I can't go on like this anymore, I don't know anymore
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 13, 2013