How Can I Find Happiness?

How can I be happy when there's so much bad stuff happening in the world? It's hard to be happy when the world is so lost. It's like an illusion of happiness. I make up this artificial happiness when deep down, I am sad, lost, pathetic and lonely. I have absolutely no friends whatsoever. Sure I hang out with my brother's friends, but I don't have friends of my own. I fear that I will be hurt once more. I have to distance myself. I have already been hurt once before. I hate that there's so much destructive people that will potentially make you feel inferior and worthless. It's like when I'm positive, I want to be negative. Then, when I'm negative, I want to be positive and the cycle repeats again and again. Everyday at school, I feel like I am invisible or that everyone else is invisible except me and my teachers. That's what it feels like a bit. However, I do have a mood enhancer of some kind. What triggers this emotional mood enhancer is through my mind. I dwell in fantasies/ dreams that only occur in my head and will probably never turn into reality. Fantasies is the only thing that makes me feel happy and hopeful. But it also makes my sadness worst knowing that these dreams won't come true. They're just illusions.
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1 Response Jan 14, 2013

reading this reminds me that whatever i post about myself has been said more then a few hundred times therefor void of any true uniqe and generic style of writing wich is why i sometimes hate EP.