Life Has To Go On...

When I was first diagnosed with depression, the very words hurt my heart. I was actually ashamed of myself, even though my mental illness was out with my control. Every 2.5 seconds I think a negative thought about myself or my life. I cry every night. Sometimes getting out of bed in the morning is just to much to take. I'm tired constantly. My skin breaks out in spots. I feel incapable of expressing any feelings. But what gets me the most is the sense of desolation. That I am all alone. Isolated in my own little world of constant negativity. No one can enter and no one can leave.
collectingthoughts collectingthoughts
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

I have not been diagnosed with the illness but I do feel like this a lot myself. Everyone's battle is different but you are definitely not alone, and you have nothing to be ashamed about because like you said it is completely out of your control. Everyone goes through tough tough battles in their lives and the strong ones always make it through. I personally believe just the fact you came on to this and shared your story publicly for everyone to read is a sign of a strong person. It shows that you care about yourself and you want to fight it and by the fact support is what you want, well that shows you are a strong person because others would block any information out. Keep doing what you can do as hard as it gets because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it's very cliche but it is completely true. Just keep battling and keep fighting and you will start to find reasons to smile everyday.

I wish you all the best

You described the feeling beautifully. I am battling the same thing.

Its good to know there are people who relate. Depression is such an isolating illness that can be so easily misunderstood. Thank-you for your comment. From the bottom of my heart I wish you well in your own battles.