All Over Again

I don't know why I can't accept the word "chronic" as part of my diagnosis. I've been off my meds for over 2 years. I thought the 15 years of therapy and medication had done the trick. I was wrong.

Now I get to find a new therapist and hope there are some new SSRIs that will not have as many side effects.

I really thought I was in the clear this time. The obvious symptoms of a depressive episode are just too much to ignore though. I haven't brushed my teeth in three days, haven't left my house in two, and have been crying randomly for being a failure at life.

I really don't want to admit I'm still sick. But, I've been here before (oh so many times) and know what I need to do to get better.

I'm just frustrated and angry. I'm mad at my brain for being broken. I'm mad for wallowing in my mental illness instead of getting help.

I'll get the help I need. I shouldn't have gone off my meds in the first place. It was nice though, feeling normal for a while.
ekwinimity ekwinimity
31-35, F
Jan 15, 2013