The Impossible FightThis is what depression does. It takes all your thoughts, and scatters them to the corners of your mind, so you can never find the words that you need to say what you are feeling. It empties you of every happy thought, every reason to go on living, and fills you up with nothingness. First it steals your voice, then it steals your mind, and then it steals your soul.
And what can you do? You can watch, helpless, as it pushes away everyone you care about, as it drags hot, heavy tears out of your eyes, and slides a cold razor across your skin. You can only watch as your smiles become thinner and your tears become harder to hold inside. You can only watch, as your world falls to pieces and everyone you trust turns their back on you, one by one.
And then, when it has tired of you, does it go? Does it leave you alone and give you back your life? No. It walks you to the edge of something very, very tall, or it ties you a noose and hangs it from a ceiling fan, or it holds a gun against your head. And then it jumps, or it pulls the trigger, or it swallows the pills, and you watch in silence as the world fades to darkness and there is nothing left to watch anymore.