Lost And Numb

When I go through a phase of depression (which comes and goes with no sense) It's hard for me to do anythign I am a mother of three and I only get up to get the kid's to school so I can lay down and not be messed with. I fight myself inside just to get basic things done like get dressed, or shower (which i've avoided for a few days on end cuz it just sounds like too much work), usually don't eat unless its chocolate cake or something just as bad, clean house or anything else "normal" people do everyday. It's like I'm stuck behind a window watching everything pass me by and at times I think of things that I would like to say or do but I don't becuase no matter how bad I want to have something come out of my mouth it simply won't.
darkntwisted darkntwisted
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 23, 2013

I don't mean to make light of how you feel, but I'm a little jealous. Everyday, I wish that I could go back to bed after I drop my kids off at school instead of going to work. I feel depressed too. I do my daily routine with depression and anxiety weighing on me. I wish I could stay home, hide under the covers, and escape. Depression sucks.

Thanks for sharing. I think I can relate to how you feel.


i feel like i just read my own journal entry or something. besides the mother part, i struggle with everything you mentioned. you are not alone. take care -- JRey

It's hard. I suffer from depression. Today I didn't get out of bed until 5pm. I skipped my volunteering shift because I didn't feel like going. My home is a mess, and I didn't shower. I'm on a medication now, but it's not helping. I'm seeing a psychiatrist, and hopefully he'll put me on another medication to try. I'm also seeing a psychologist. She says I really have to change my thoughts and think positive, but it's easier said than done. You can try to manage thoughts, but it's much harder with feelings and emotions.

I know the feeling. I haven't been outside in almost a month. I am on celexa which usually helps alot, but I'm at a tough time in my life, and a first time mom. Its hard when you suffer silently alone, and people think 'there's nothing wrong with you. What's your problem?' Blessings hun. We will make it!