Little White Flag...How do I say this?
There is an inner sadness that is eating me from the inside out. And while there are brief moments of happiness, they are fleeting moments that last but minutes and feel more like a memory. A memory I am slowing beginning to disassociate from. I attempt to hold on to those memories through words, pictures yet they have become too painful as they are just a memory of what my life has become; continuous pain hidden under my mask. To be honest, I do not recall what true happiness on me looks like. Every day, EVERY SINGLE day is a struggle. I am growing tired, exhausted really....I know the logic of it all yet my heart does not feel it. Instead feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, fear overwhelm my heart...my soul...and my mind is left battling it all alone. I am left wondering if surrender is better than living through this battle. And if I surrender, can I ever be experience happiness again where if be in this lifetime or another